


choice of convenience

by sbanon



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, M/M, One-Sided Love???, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23596078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sbanon/pseuds/sbanon
Summary: Sungjin makes a choice of convenience to save their failing company, and unintentionally gives Younghyun hope.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Sungjin
Comments: 54
Kudos: 158





	1. prologue

For the last two years, Park and Co. Shipping has been struggling to keep the business afloat. Unfortunate events caused by incompetent staff, and circumstances beyond their control took place one after the other. As a result, their reputation took a really huge blow. Their business partners have lost their faith in them, some even going as far as pulling their stocks out. Valuable regular customers such as online sellers have chosen to switch to other shipping companies despite Park and Co.’s attempts to win them back by giving them exclusive discounts. In an effort to salvage what was left of their business, Park and Co. invested in paying for seminars for their staff and new equipment for better performance, but alas, they have already sunk way too deep. Internet users did not hesitate to shred their reputation to pieces, and gave them numerous detailed one star reviews online.

Presently, Park Sungjin is the president of Park and Co., next in line to his father who is the current CEO, Park Byungman. Sungjin’s father is just in his mid-sixties. His mind is still sharp, and his body is still healthy enough to be able to keep up with the stressful tasks put upon the shoulders of a CEO. He knows he could still manage for a few more years, but after the unfortunate events, all Byungman wants to do now is retire, enjoy his remaining riches, and let his reliable son deal with the mess at the company.

Being the perfect son that he is, Sungjin tells his father that he could retire and just leave it all to him. He is willing to put Park and Co. back on the map no matter what it takes. The only problem is that they do not have enough money to fund his ideas. At first, Sungjin thought that he could just get investors, but turns out, it is not that easy to convince rich assholes to have faith in his leadership. The economy has been fragile since that pandemic. No one wants to risk putting their money in a company on the brink of bankruptcy.

“They think that just because I’m young, I’m a blithering idiot who cannot manage the company,” Sungjin rants.

It is Friday night. Sungjin just got out of work and is currently at a well-known pub downtown with his best friend, Kang Younghyun. It’s just a few minutes past seven, but Sungjin is already downing his third mug of beer, and his second serving of spicy chicken wings. The place is packed with office workers, Sungjin even recognized some of them as Park and Co. employees. Usually, he would not ask to meet his friends at places near the office, because he does not like the idea of people who know him listening in on his conversations, but Sungjin has a lot on his mind right now, so he’s planning to get past the tipsy line. He wants to be able to just conveniently walk back to his house, which is just three blocks away, after he’s satisfied with his drunkenness.

“And I’m not even that young. I’m fucking 28!” Sungjin adds after taking a hearty gulp of his beer. 

Younghyun fondly wipes away some beer foam at the corner of Sungjin’s mouth, the action making the latter flinch a little. Knowing Sungjin’s immense dislike for physical contact, Younghyun is used to the reaction and simply chuckles, nose scrunching endearingly.

“Sungjin, you talked to crusty old rich men, of course they’re going to think you’re a child,” Younghyun says. 

Sungjin snorts, “Whatever, I just need someone to trust us enough to invest. I need to put Park and Co. back on track.”

Younghyun sighs at that as he watches Sungjin brutally rip the meat off the chicken bone.

“My offer still stands, Sungjin. My parents and I are just waiting for you to accept our help,” Younghyun says.

Sungjin swallows his food before adamantly shaking his head in disapproval.

“You know, I’m grateful for the offer, I really am,” Sungjin says, regarding Younghyun with a small smile, “but my answer is still the same.”

“Is the money not enough? I could ask dad to make some adjustments. Just tell me,” Younghyun says. 

“No, that’s not it,” Sungjin shakes his head again. “I just do not want to take advantage of you, okay?”

Younghyun rolls his eyes, “Oh, come on, Sungjin, I don’t think that you’re taking advantage of me if you accept our help. Mom and dad also don't think like that. They like you!”

Sungjin sets his chicken wing back down on the plate, and looks at Younghyun intently.

“Younghyun,” Sungjin says, “you know what I mean.”

Younghyun avoids Sungjin’s eyes, and sips beer. Yes, he knows what Sungjin means perfectly well. 

Sungjin met Younghyun, because they had a lot of mutual friends back in college. They used to hang out a lot with that friend group when they were still attending university, and ever since they were first introduced to each other, it has always been an open secret that Younghyun likes Sungjin a lot. It started out as a crush, but then their friends relentlessly teased Younghyun for it even when Sungjin was around. Eventually, the two of them got closer, they started hanging out without the others, and Younghyun’s little crush on Sungjin grew into something bigger and more sincere.

Younghyun confessed the day before graduation. Sungjin gently rejected him, explaining very well how he cherished his friendship with Younghyun very much, and how he was not ready for a relationship then. Of course, Younghyun was hurt and sad, but he appreciated Sungjin’s honesty. 

The fact that Sungjin was not put off by his confession, and still wanted to be friends afterwards unintentionally made Younghyun hope that the door was still open and he still had a chance to worm his way out of the friend zone.

They were 21 at that time, and now, they’re 28. They’re still just friends, and Younghyun is still hoping. At some point, however, despite the multiple rejections that he already received from Sungjin, Younghyun’s feelings had the audacity to grow even deeper. 

At this point, everyone knows that Younghyun is head over heels in love with Park Sungjin, and that he is willing to do anything just for Sungjin to see him more than a friend. Through the years, Sungjin never actually dated or showed interest in anyone. He is always buried deep in his work, and by now, people are mostly convinced that Sungjin is probably incapable of feeling deep human emotions such as love. 

Younghyun is stubborn, though. He’s still hoping that when the day Sungjin is finally ready for a relationship comes, he will reciprocate Younghyun’s love for him.

If he is not the rich chaebol that he is, people will immediately judge Younghyun, call him creepy or pathetic or both creepy and pathetic. But since he practically bathes in money, and the world has double standards, people simply think that Younghyun’s love for Sungjin is adorable and admirable. Sungjin, on the other hand, does not think Younghyun’s love for him is cute. There are times when he finds it burdensome, especially when people keep whispering behind his back how much of an idiot he is for ignoring a man who is as perfect as Kang Younghyun.

Younghyun is just Sungjin’s best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“I’m not expecting anything in return. This is a sincere offer of help from me as your best friend,” Younghyun says, still avoiding Sungjin’s gaze. 

“Can’t you see that’s actually worse? You not wanting anything in return? That makes me feel like such an asshole, Younghyun. Look, I genuinely appreciate the offer, thank you, but I can’t accept it.”

The silence between them is a little awkward, and Sungjin almost feels sorry for letting out such blunt words out his mouth as he watches Younghyun anxiously tapping his fingers on the wooden table.

“Okay, I respect your decision, Sungjin, but if ever you change your mind, just let me know.”

Sungjin distractedly shrugs, eager to end this conversation that has quickly turned uncomfortable, “Sure. Thank you, Younghyun.”

With Sungjin no longer in the mood to get wasted after that conversation, their Friday night ends prematurely. He orders one last mug of beer, finishes it in ten minutes, and asks for the tab. He bids Younghyun goodbye, and walks out of the crowded pub, the cool November air immediately greeting him.


	2. let's just try to make this work

Exactly a week has passed by since that night with Younghyun at the pub, and Sungjin is still nowhere near finding someone who could swoop in to save their company. There is a board meeting scheduled on Monday, and it is certain that they will be expecting Sungjin to already have a concrete plan of action on how they are going to address the threat of bankruptcy. Sungjin unblinkingly stares at the painfully empty powerpoint presentation on his computer while his fingers are equally unmoving poised on top of his keyboard.

All Sungjin has in mind right now is budget cuts. Close down a couple of their facilities, lay off a few employees then use the money they will save up to rebrand and slowly crawl their way out of this damn slump. 

This is a more traditional approach, one that will not rub the board members the wrong way. Hell, this plan might even get them to think that for once, Sungjin is worthy of the position that he is being trained for. It might be a great move if he wants to kiss their crusty asses, but Sungjin absolutely dreads it. He cannot bear the thought that hundreds of employees who have been with them since the humble beginning of their company will suddenly find themselves unemployed. It will affect not only these individual employees but their families as well.

“Mr. Park?”

Sungjin startles at the sound of his assistant’s voice. 

“Nana. Yes?” Sungjin exhales, willing his heart to calm the heck down. 

Nana only has her upper body through the door. She looks timid as she gives Sungjin an apologetic look.

“Pardon the intrusion, sir. I’ve been knocking for a while, but you weren’t answering. I was worried.”

“It’s okay. What do you need?” Sungjin says, waving his hand dismissively. 

“Your father wants to see you in his office, sir,” Nana says. 

“Now?” Sungjin frowns. “I am in the middle of writing my report for the board meeting on Monday.”

“I’m afraid he said it’s urgent.”

Sungjin sighs before reluctantly turning off his monitors and standing up. He leaves his office and starts making his way towards his father’s office which is located one floor above his own. Sungjin spends the short travel time wondering if this urgent matter has something to do with his father’s retirement.

But didn’t they agree that Byungman will retire next month?

Perhaps the old man has had enough and wants to go ditch Sungjin and the company at a sooner time. Sungjin shrugs once he arrives at his father’s floor. 

“He’s already expecting you, sir,” his father’s secretary says upon seeing Sungjin.

He politely nods at his father’s secretary and pushes the double doors open. Indeed, Park Byungman is already sitting at the small receiving area in his office, looking at Sungjin expectantly as he enters. With how identical Sungjin and Byungman looks, Byungman just seems like an older Sungjin time travelling back to the past, complete with crow’s feet and a full head of grey hair. They are adorned in similar smart casual clothes, carrying themselves in a way that tells people they should be revered but not feared. It is guaranteed that everyone they meet will be in awe at the stark resemblance.

“About time you arrive,” Byungman grumpily says. 

“Sorry, I was doing the report for Monday’s board meeting,” Sungjin explains himself as he sits down on the chair opposite his father.

“You will have to redo your presentation. I have found a solution to get us out of this slump,” Byungman says, earning a look of bewilderment from Sungjin. 

“Whatever do you mean, my dear father? Will you be so kind as to inform me if you’re making moves on your own? I thought I’m in charge of this,” Sungjin says, a bit butthurt that his father seems to have done his own thing. 

After almost going bald stressing over this, his father is just going to tell him that he magically found a way out by himself. Who wouldn’t feel betrayed?

“Stop acting like a moody teenager, will you?” Byungman chastises his son. 

Sungjin does not answer, merely shrugging as he continues to semi-sulk. 

Byungman ignores the attitude, “I am the one who should be acting disappointed, you know. How come you did not inform me about the financial help that the Kangs have been trying to extend to us? If Kang Hodong did not personally reach out to me, I wouldn’t have known.”

Sungjin stops his little sulk fest at that and sits up a little straighter.

“Father, you know we cannot accept help from them. I’m sure you’re aware of my situation with Younghyun,” Sungjin says. 

“I am well aware, but I am certain that you are equally aware of how grave our situation is. When I bestowed you this responsibility, I asked you to exhaust all our resources and reach out to all our connections. I gave you the freedom to do whatever it takes. Despite years under my apprenticeship, it saddens me how you blatantly failed to grab an opportunity when it was repeatedly presented to you on a shiny silver platter,” Byungman says, his tone suddenly becoming harsher.

“I don’t want to take advantage of them. You know Younghyun likes me, father. I just don’t feel comfortable accepting his help,” Sungjin says. 

“Are you going to continue acting like an angsty pre-teen, Park Sungjin? Are you seriously thinking about the feelings of one rich family over the thousands who are going to lose their jobs? This is not just about you. Actual people with actual hopes and dreams are relying on you, and you are thinking about how you are not comfortable accepting help from somebody who has feelings for you? Grow up!”

His father’s words wash over Sungjin like a bucket of ice cold water, rendering him speechless as Byungman continues.

“I feel that there is more to this than what you can bear to admit to yourself. Perhaps it has something to do with your pride. Do you feel ashamed accepting help from someone you’ve rejected time and time again?”

“That’s not true,” Sungjin blurts out, because it’s not really about pride. That’s not it.

“Maybe you’re scared to be in-debted to Younghyun? That it might be all part of a plan he crafted to get you to like him?”

_Maybe?_

“Younghyun isn’t like that,” Sungjin suddenly hears himself saying. 

Byungman stands up, giving Sungjin a fleeting look before he walks over to look out the window, “No, but your friend _is_ like that.”

Sungjin frowns, “What do you mean, father?”

“They said they are willing to help, but not without us giving them something in exchange,” Byungman says.

Hearing this, Sungjin braces himself for the things that Byungman will say next. 

“Kang Hodong sent me the document which contains the details of the deal that they want to make with us. They plan to launch some sort of an online counterpart to their supermalls to keep up with the online shopping trend. They want to make Park and Co. their exclusive shipping service.”

Sungjin’s eyes widen in awe. Younghyun’s family owns North Asia’s biggest chain of malls, All Day Supermalls (ADS). They are considered gods in the retail industry, and getting Park and Co. as their exclusive shipping service for their online mall will not only bring them back to business but also redeem their soiled reputation.

“In exchange,” Byungman cuts off Sungjin’s blissful musings. “Kang Hodong wants you to marry Younghyun.”

Sungjin shakes his head in shock and disbelief. “Are they crazy?” 

“Before you fully take over my position, Sungjin, I want you to come to terms with the fact that with every decision you make, big or small, will affect thousands. If you just watch Park and Co. disintegrate, I want you to know that our family will not go down alone. It will only require one little sacrifice from you for people to keep their livelihood.”

This has been at the back of Sungjin’s mind for quite a while now. Amidst his refusal to accept the help from Younghyun, he knows that there are people who will receive a fatal blow. Sungjin has been in denial, pushing the guilt down, adamantly looking for other investors. But it has all come down to this now, and Sungjin is cornered.

***

The past weeks have been quite normal. The days have been relatively peaceful, no huge crime had been committed, no natural disasters, and everything seemed to be going smoothly for once. As a result, the moment that Kang Hodong announces that their company merged with Park and Co. in preparation for the launch of their online malls, it has become the biggest news in a while. When he then added that his son is getting married to the son of Park and Co.’s CEO, the media really feasted on it like famished piranhas. They feed off of anecdotes online about how Younghyun has been in love with Sungjin but has been unluckily stuck in the friendzone for years. Under mysterious circumstances, this private information has leaked and gone viral on the internet. Now, people are either gushing about how happy they are for Younghyun for finally getting Sungjin to love him back or wishing they’re also filthy rich so they can pay their way out of the friendzone too.

Sungjin is unhappy amidst the sudden attention he is receiving. 

Their company’s social media accounts are suddenly receiving messages from people who want to know more about how he finally reciprocated Younghyun’s feelings. They get emails and calls from journalists, asking if he would graciously sit down for an exclusive interview regarding the matter. Sungjin immediately crafts a script for his secretary to say or send in response to those calls and emails.

“Mr. Park will not be accepting any invitation for interviews. Please visit Park and Co.’s company website for the official statement regarding the merge. Thank you.”

Nana anxiously looks at Sungjin. “Reporters are very persuasive, sir. They would insist especially those calling on the phone.”

“I give you permission to just hang up on them if they continue to bother you.”

“Okay, Mr. Park, copy that,” Nana says, noting it down on her notebook and looking less anxious now.

“These people are savages. I didn’t expect that we would have to deal with this,” Sungjin mutters.

“Oh, and Mr. Park, please be reminded that you have a lunch meeting with your father and the Kangs. You are scheduled to leave in half an hour,” Nana says, closing her notebook and giving Sungjin a bright smile. 

Sungjin sighs. He wordlessly nods in reply and waves his hand to tell Nana that she can go now. Nana bows politely and exits the office, leaving Sungjin with his thoughts.

Byungman and Sungjin have been quite preoccupied discussing and finalizing the terms of the deal between Park and Co. and ADS. In between numerous meetings with different members of the board, going over changes in the company that will soon take effect, while also answering concerns (both valid and invalid), Sungjin is yet to find time to sit himself down and fully process what he has gotten himself into. 

The wedding with Younghyun is a constant dark cloud over Sungjin’s head now, imposing and looming. There are days when Sungjin will be too busy with corporate matters that he is able to trick himself into forgetting all about its presence. Push it at the back of his mind and delude his mind that no such thing will happen once the dust have settled.

At the end of each day, however, Sungjin will always be reminded of what is to come. It comes in the form of Younghyun’s unanswered messages, missed calls and voicemails—all of which are seeking to apologize to Sungjin about the wedding clause in the merger deal. Although Sungjin always refuses to read the messages, the way his phone’s notification banners are set up makes it inevitable for him to catch a glimpse of the messages’ contents.

_I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the wedding._

_Talk to me, please, Sungjin? I begged dad to omit that part._

Seeing those sentences would conjure a certain bad taste in Sungjin’s mouth. Although he knows Younghyun well enough to believe that he had no part in drafting the contract, there is still a part of him that sincerely wonders if he truly knows Younghyun. That same part of him is making him doubt himself if he had been too naive in believing that Younghyun really respects his feelings. 

Regardless, it is futile to dwell on whether or not Younghyun is the mastermind. The wedding will definitely take place either way.

“Younghyun should be here soon. He had a morning class, so he is running a bit late.” 

Kang Hodong, Younghyun’s father, is sitting across Byungman. He is dressed to the nines, crisp white shirt beneath a black business suit, salt and pepper hair styled neatly and straight teeth gleaming as he smiles at the Parks. This is not the first time that Sungjin is meeting him. Younghyun has already brought Sungjin along several of the Kang family’s celebrations. Everytime Sungjin gets the chance to meet Hodong, he is pleasant to talk to. He is a good-natured jokester just like Younghyun who is very much aware of his only son’s cute little crush on Sungjin, so Hodong always makes it a point to blatantly tease Younghyun about it in Sungjin’s presence until Younghyun is reduced into a sputtering, embarrassed tomato. 

“I think you and Younghyun would make a lovely couple. You should stop being just friends, and marry this lovesick fool already, Sungjin. His mother and I give you our full approval,” Hodong would often say, ignoring Younghyun’s open-mouthed looks of mortification and shock. 

Sungjin always perceived that as nothing but a joke. Given their current predicament, however, Sungjin dwells on the thought that perhaps Hodong had always meant every word he said.

“So, is Younghyun still working at the same school, Hodong?” Byungman says in an attempt at small talk. 

“Yes, yes, he loves it there. Last year, he received a job offering from one of those entertainment companies. They want him to be a vocal coach for their trainees, but believe it or not, Younghyun thinks it's more fun to teach children, so he turned it down.”

“Well, at least, he genuinely enjoys his job,” Byungman says. 

“Yes, I guess that is our greatest consolation. My wife and I gave up a long time ago trying to get our one and only son interested in managing the company,” Hodong sighs.

Suddenly, he turns to Sungjin with a sheepish smile, “It’s actually the reason why we had the idea of having the wedding clause added to the merger deal. Since Younghyun is not interested in taking over the company after me, we thought you can do it instead when the time comes. If you guys are married, at least the company will remain in the hands of someone we know is on our side rather than some other member of the board. This way, we can still have control over it.”

Sungjin blinks at that. He had been so caught up distastefully looking at it as nothing but an unnecessary move made to satisfy a spoiled son’s desire that he failed to see it for what it really is: a calculated business move to retain control. 

Beside him, Byungman laughs, undoubtedly delighted at the revelation that his son might become the CEO of the great ADS in the near future. “I am forever in awe at your ability to recognize opportunities and use them very well, Hodong.”

“So the wedding wasn’t Younghyun’s idea?” Sungjin interjects.

Hodong’s smile falters a bit, suddenly looking slightly troubled. 

“No, it wasn’t, and we didn’t consult him beforehand. He threw one heck of a tantrum, yelling at us when he found out,” Hodong confesses.

Sungjin notes that the man now has the audacity to look guilty.

“Younghyun was in distress, telling us how we should respect that you do not feel comfortable accepting help from him. We also knew that you do not love our son the same way he loves you, so you could just imagine how pleasantly surprised we were that you actually accepted the deal. Younghyun was astonished at your decision as well, but he had been worrying non stop about how you might detest him now.

We aren’t proud of what we have done, and we are sorry that we had to resort to this. But I hope you understand that it is a necessary move that would benefit us all. I just ask that you do not hate our Younghyun. He is also caught up in all this just like you, Sungjin.”

“I am so sorry for being late!”

Younghyun finally enters the restaurant’s private dining area. Despite looking a bit frazzled, he still looks gorgeous in his light blue button down and black slack pants. He kisses his father on the cheek, and respectfully bows at Byungman with a charming smile before abruptly halting in front of Sungjin, evidently feeling awkward after getting ghosted for two weeks.

After finding out everything, Sungjin is now feeling guilty and a bit stupid for blocking out Younghyun’s attempts to reach out to him. He shouldn’t have acted like that, because they’re best friends. He feels ashamed for even thinking so lowly of Younghyun that he thought he’s desperate enough to resort to that.

“Hello, Sungjin,” Younghyun tentatively greets him as he takes the seat across him.

“Hi,” Sungjin replies and gives Younghyun a smile, hoping that the other could feel how sorry he is for ignoring him.

“Well, shall we eat? I am ravenous,” Hodong says, breaking the awkward atmosphere 

The lunch meeting is less about official business, but rather more about discussing plans about the incoming wedding. At the initial mention of it, Sungjin catches the anxious look that Younghyun gives him. Sungjin merely shrugs at him before proceeding to voice out that he will greatly appreciate it if they make as little fuss about it as possible.

“Just a ceremony at the city hall for the legality. If you want to be sentimental, we can have a simple celebratory meal afterwards,” Sungjin suggests. 

There is a brief period of silence wherein Hodong looks a little disappointed at the suggestion, but he quickly recovers his composure when he feels Sungjin’s eyes on him.

“On the contrary, I personally wanted to make as much fuss about it as possible. It is my _only_ son’s wedding after all,” Hodong retorts, causing Younghyun to elbow him sharply. 

“Dad,” Younghyun hisses, so Hodong raises his hands defensively.

“Okay, I do understand that this isn’t my wedding, so who am I to force you into having the biggest wedding of the century?” Hodong laughs. “But I deeply feel like it will be a missed opportunity, though…”

“Well, what do you have in mind?” Byungman interestingly says, pausing in the midst of cutting through his filet mignon.

As he listens to the things that Hodong says next, Sungjin gets a headache. Apparently, it was their company’s PR team who started the madness online. They leaked the information about Younghyun’s unrequited love for Sungjin, so the news about the two companies merging can get more attention. 

“It was a genius promotional stunt if I do say so myself. The PR team truly has this fascinating ability to think ahead. By giving them a mellow drama-like story behind this merge, they successfully made people talk about our upcoming online mall project. Now, the launch has become a much anticipated event, which is why I think it is best for us to take advantage of the momentum and feed them more?”

“Dad, Sungjin already said that he wants the wedding to be simple. We have to respect that,” Younghyun says.

“Yes, I do respect that, but how about we come up with some sort of a compromise?” Hodong says. “I do not know yet what it could be, but I’ll ask the PR team to come up with something.”

The remaining fifteen minutes of the lunch meeting is spent talking about tentative dates for the wedding, trying to see when everyone will be free. Sungjin and Younghyun continue to carefully tread in each other’s presence, giving each other cautious fleeting looks. 

This leaves an uncomfortable feeling in Sungjin’s heart, not used to being like this around Younghyun, so when the meeting has ended and an opportunity to resolve the situation presents itself, Sungjin grabs it.

* * *

Younghyun did not bring his car with him, so Sungjin volunteers to drive him back to the school he works at. At first, Younghyun is hesitant, not wanting to impose on Sungjin, but after some convincing, he finally agrees. 

Now, they are idly sitting in Sungjin’s car in a somewhat empty parking lot. Sungjin is gripping the steering wheel with both hands, while Younghyun is looking at him with those expressive slanted eyes of his.

“Sungjin, are you mad at me?” Younghyun initiates the conversation.

“No, I’m not. I’m sorry for ignoring your calls and messages,” Sungjin answers in a heartbeat. “Your father explained everything to me already.”

Younghyun unknowingly sighs, feeling a heavy weight lifting off his chest.

“My dad can be cunning and manipulative, but he’s a good man most of the time. I’m sorry that you got tricked into doing this as a result of me not wanting to be our company’s CEO.”

Sungjin shakes his head. “There’s no need to say sorry, Younghyun. For the past weeks, I’ve been humbled as I come to realize how much more I have to learn about this world that we are part of. Your father, my father, they’re good at being professional assholes, don’t you think?”

Younghyun bursts into a bout of beautiful, throaty laughter, “I know what you mean.”

“The lengths that they are willing to go to just makes me so speechless. They don’t care if they fuck over their sons or treat us like mere pawns as long as it benefits their beloved companies. You should’ve seen how my father talked so big about decisions and sacrifices,” Sungjin drones on.

“Which is why I refuse to take over ADS. You spend enough time as CEO of such a huge corporation, you just become ruthless. I just don’t want that life. I’m so sorry you got dragged into this,” Younghyun says. 

Sungjin shakes his head once again. He finally turns his head to really look at Younghyun for the first time in weeks.

“What’s done is done. It’s for the common good. Our company doesn’t go bankrupt, your father has a successor, and you have me,” Sungjin says. 

Younghyun’s mouth slightly parts in surprise at the last part. His cheeks are blushing as his heart involuntarily skips a beat.

“I guess we can just move forward and make the best out of our situation,” Sungjin adds. 

“Sungjin, I want you to know that you don’t have to force yourself to like me. We can just get married on paper and I’ll still let you live your life. Things don’t ever need to change between us,” Younghyun says. 

“Younghyun,” Sungjin says, suddenly putting a hand on Younghyun’s shoulder and effectively making Younghyun’s brain short-circuit at the contact, “let’s just try to make this work, okay?”

Not knowing what else to say or what to make out of the situation, Younghyun simply replies, “Okay. Let’s try.”


	3. trying

The wedding is set to happen in a week’s time and Younghyun often finds himself still in disbelief at the sharp turn of events. If he was told two months ago that he and Sungjin would get married, Younghyun would have laughed his ass off, called that person mad before flipping his middle finger at them, because how dare they give him false hope?

In the years that Younghyun has been harboring romantic feelings for him, Sungjin always made it clear that he can only give Younghyun friendship. Nothing more. 

“You’re a beautiful person, Younghyun, you really are,” Sungjin would say while drowning Younghyun in the almost black pools of his wide eyes. “I’m sure someone out there is dying to love you and be loved by you in return. Don’t waste your life on someone like me and look for that person, okay?”

_‘But you’re the only one I want to waste my life on.’_

Those were the words he yearned to say every single time, but one look at Sungjin’s face would make Younghyun swallow them down. He would nod, keeping up the pretense that he was accepting his place in Sungjin’s life like a martyr. It would sometimes get to a point that Younghyun would feel as if his heart was literally breaking behind his ribcage.

During those times, Younghyun would tell himself to stop being pathetic. _I deserve better._

One smile from Sungjin, though, and Younghyun would roll back down the pit of his feelings, willingly wrapping himself around Sungjin’s finger once again. He couldn’t determine if he was a masochist or a moron. It was easier to blame his humanity, though. It was natural for humans to be weak. 

If you’ve ever developed romantic feelings for a friend or _anyone_ really, you would know that stopping is easier said than done. Younghyun knew this more than anyone. There were a lot of times when he wished unloving Sungjin would be as easy as flipping a switch. Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works, so he just learned to live with it.

Now that he is getting married to Sungjin next week, though, Younghyun can’t help the feeling of joy quickly igniting in the depths of his Sungjin-decorated heart.

Perhaps miracles do happen when one wants hard enough.

Younghyun knows very well that this is merely a marriage of convenience, that between Younghyun and bankruptcy, anyone with a brain would know which choice to make. At least now, he and Sungjin will be more than just friends. Whenever they would go out to meet people or attend events, Younghyun would be able to introduce Sungjin as his _husband_ , and Sungjin will also have to introduce Younghyun as his _husband_.

It takes all the willpower in Younghyun not to squeak out loud as he imagines how it would sound for Sungjin to introduce him as his husband. 

_I WOULD LITERALLY DIE._

Younghyun slaps himself to rid his brain of these crazy thoughts. He spots his co-teachers who have stopped doing whatever it is that they’ve been doing at their stations to give him a mix of worried and weird looks. He blushes in embarrassment but ignores them and says nothing to explain himself. He opens the pack of biscuits on his desk and resumes accomplishing the task at hand: grading his pupils’ mid-term projects.

_Focus, Younghyun, you dumbass._

But, really, how can he focus when he knows that in just a few minutes, he and Sungjin will already be moving in together?

At first, they told the adults that they decided to continue living in their respective apartments. Of course, that scandalized them.

_“This is simply unheard of!”_

__“What married couple lives in different homes?!"_ _

__

__

___“People are going to talk!”_ _ _

____“It will be bad PR!”_ _ _ _

___In the end, Sungjin and Younghyun conceded, much to the latter’s delight._ _ _

___Soon enough, Younghyun’s phone buzzes and he feels his heart flutter when he sees that Sungjin is calling him._ _ _

___“Hey, you here already?” Younghyun says, unable to stop the wide grin spreading on his face as he hears Sungjin’s voice on the other side of the line._ _ _

___“Yes, about to pull up at the entrance now,” Sungjin says._ _ _

___“Okay, okay, I’ll come out now! See you!”_ _ _

___“Hmm, see you.”_ _ _

___Younghyun scrambles, packing up his things in record time. He hurriedly says goodbye to his colleagues and makes a beeline for the door. When Younghyun exits the front gate, he gasps at the sight of the familiar pick up truck, still a very bright shade of red despite its already beat up state._ _ _

___“I missed this car!” Younghyun says as he boards, sitting on the passenger seat._ _ _

___Sungjin almost never drives this car anymore, claiming that his black Audi is more fitting for a man of his profession._ _ _

___“Considering what day today is, I thought it’s most appropriate to use this vehicle,” Sungjin says, setting out to traverse the road towards Younghyun’s apartment._ _ _

___“I appreciate the thought,” Younghyun giggles, one hand unconsciously fiddling with the seatbelt while the other is fidgeting with his earring. “I’m not really bringing much, though, so the trunk of your fancy car would’ve been good enough. Just my clothes, shoes, toiletries. The basics. The largest thing I’ll bring along is my guitar.”_ _ _

___“What about Goldie?” Sungjin raises his brows inquisitively._ _ _

___“Goldie’s staying at my place with the rest of my instruments. I’m thinking of transforming it into some kind of a studio space? Wouldn’t want to bother you with the noise.”_ _ _

___Frankly, Sungjin does not really mind if Younghyun decides to set up a whole marching band in his house because he’s a great musician. Whatever racket he will be making, Sungjin is certain that it wouldn’t be a cause for headache. But if that’s what Younghyun wants to do with his soon-to-be-abandoned apartment, Sungjin doesn’t want to contradict it._ _ _

___“I see. Well, you’re free to do whatever you want,” Sungjin shrugs. His eyes are on the road but, from his peripheral, he could see the fond smile that Younghyun throws his way._ _ _

___“You know you’re really so sexy when you concentrate like that, Sungjin. Your eyes are so pretty.”_ _ _

___Used to the sudden bursts of compliments from Younghyun, Sungjin doesn’t bother looking at him when he lets out a, “Tch, suddenly?”._ _ _

___“They really are,” Younghyun reaffirms nonchalantly._ _ _

___He turns up the heat in the car and zips his jacket close. The days are getting colder as winter draws nearer. For a while, only the muted sound of traffic outside and the soft buzz of the radio can be heard in the car. Younghyun, ever jolly whenever in Sunjgin’s presence, hums along to the song while swaying his head like a little kid._ _ _

___“You love your apartment, don’t you?” Sungjin pipes up._ _ _

___“Of course!” Younghyun answers. “It’s the first property I bought with my own money.”_ _ _

___“And it’s conveniently located in the shady part of town. Bars, strip club, and all, so you like that,” Sungjin teases._ _ _

___“I teach music to children now, Sungjin,” Younghyun snorts._ _ _

___“So?”_ _ _

___“ _So_ , I’ve mellowed down. I just love the neighborhood. There’s always something funny happening on the street on Friday nights. Bar fight or drunk office workers being silly.”_ _ _

___“Which is why I don’t understand why you chose to move into my boring suburban abode,” Sungjin says._ _ _

___Younghyun laughs, “Sungjin, you know my apartment only has one bedroom, right? While I’m very willing and happy to share my bed with you, I’m sure that you won’t like that. Also, I only have one parking spot, and it’s tiny and doesn’t have a gate. It’s fine for my old Corolla, but your fancy cars will either be scratched up, graffitied or gone after a night there.”_ _ _

___“Fair enough,” Sungjin purses his lips and nods in consideration as Younghyun drones on._ _ _

___“Oh, and your kitchen is big! I told you I bought a cookbook from a garage sale, right? Well, I’ve been practicing and I think I’m a decent cook. I can’t wait to let you taste the dishes I’ve learned to make so far. Your sister told me that you’ve never even used the stove since you moved in. What a shame,” Younghyun rolls his eyes._ _ _

___“Since when did you guys talk behind my back?” Sungjin says to which Younghyun merely responds by playfully sticking his tongue out at him._ _ _

___“Anyway, you’re already dealing with so much shit—my father’s shenanigans, marrying me—I just don’t want to add up to that by making you live somewhere you’re not comfortable in. Don’t worry about me missing my apartment. I’ll see you everyday now, will have dinner with you every night after having a hard time at work. I can already imagine the domestic bliss. Really, what more can I ask for?”_ _ _

___That was one of the many examples in which Younghyun is extremely blunt about how he feels for Sungjin. At best, Younghyun’s honesty makes him flustered, and at worst, it’s a burden. One might think that based on how often this happens, Sungjin will already have a set way on how to brush them off without being hurtful. Most of the time, his choice of using witty words to counter the compliments are successful, but there are times when his brain would just run on instinct, and opt to choose the defensive stance over humor._ _ _

___“You want to make a fucking thesis on that or something, Younghyun? I think I already got your point, so shut up before you make me puke.”_ _ _

___Sungjin bites his tongue the moment those words escape his mouth. The change in Younghyun’s mood is so tangible that he could almost feel it pressing against his side as it occupies the space between them._ _ _

___“Sorry,” Sungjin says when the silence becomes too much._ _ _

___But Younghyun, too busy focusing on his breathing to nurse the unexpected blow his heart received, does not hear him._ _ _

___ _

___They arrive at Sungjin’s house a little after eight in the evening. They would’ve made it earlier if not for the long queue at the drive-thru and the quick stop at the supermarket (Younghyun’s request, because he wants to make breakfast)._ _ _

___The unpleasant mood brought on by Sungjin’s insensitive remark has luckily been lifted. The little hiccup has been easily resolved by a hearty meal of greasy cheeseburgers, crispy fries and large milkshakes. When it comes to the two of them, there is almost nothing that could not be resolved with food._ _ _

___Upon arrival, they go directly to the second room in Sungjin’s house, located on the ground floor adjacent to the open kitchen. Sungjin leaves Younghyun to his own devices, opting to go to his own room on the second floor to change out of his work attire. There is no need for a house tour since Younghyun’s been here multiple times before when Sungjin would host regular gatherings of their friend group; nights spent torturing their livers, drinking endless bottles of flavored beer alongside hard liquor, eating overseasoned takeouts while waiting for the meat to finish cooking at the grill in Sungjin’s backyard. Younghyun could still recall the time when two of their friends, drunk beyond coherence, ended up crying their eyes out in each other’s arms when they put on a particularly senseless chick flick._ _ _

___Somehow, those nights would always come to an end with their friends leaving Sungjin and Younghyun alone. Their friends would either be blacked out on the kitchen counter or passed out cold on the living room floor like corpses. Sungjin and Younghyun would be in front of the dying fire in the outdoor hearth. They would be talking at first, about everything and nothing, then Sungjin would pick up Younghyun’s guitar, listlessly strumming sentimental melodies while Younghyun would sing random words with his sultry voice._ _ _

___As soon as Younghyun sets down his potted cactus on the window ledge, there is a knock on the open door. He turns around in time to see Sungjin walk in. Dressed down in a loose white shirt and black boxer shorts, he surveys the room._ _ _

___“Is the room to your liking?” Sungjin asks._ _ _

___“Yes, I like it very much,” Younghyun beams, nose wrinkling adorably. “I love the huge window with a nice view. My room in the apartment doesn’t even have a window because of that stupid building behind it.”_ _ _

___Sungjin hums, glad that Younghyun likes it. While Younghyun wipes away the dust on the wooden work desk, Sungjin notices that Younghyun’s guitar has already been propped up on its stand._ _ _

___“May I?” Sungjin says._ _ _

___Younghyun looks over his shoulder and sees Sungjin gesturing towards the instrument._ _ _

___“By all means, go ahead. You can touch whatever you want in this room,” Younghyun says with a giggle. He refrains from adding _’even me’_ not wanting to put off Sungjin twice in a row._ _ _

___“M’kay,” Sungjin says and grabs the guitar. Once he is comfortably sitting on the bed, he plucks the strings, checking if they’re in tune._ _ _

___“What song should I play…” Sungjin muses, speaking mostly to himself but Younghyun has an answer anyway._ _ _

___“I’ll like whatever you play, Sungjin.”_ _ _

___Sungjin plays a slow song by an indie band, his long fingers expertly playing the chords, smoothly maneuvering according to the tempo. Despite not knowing the title, Younghyun recognizes the melody and whatever lyrics he could remember as he starts setting up his work station on the desk he just cleaned._ _ _

___Even before they finish the first chorus, however, Sungjin gets distracted by something on Younghyun’s desk. He sets the guitar back in its proper place and stands beside Younghyun. He reaches out for a white picture frame with a collection of polaroids neatly organized in it. Among spontaneous self-portraits and family pictures, a smile makes its way on Sungjin’s face when he sees himself. A 21 year-old Sungjin in his black graduation gown, goofily smiling back at him. Beside him is a 20 year-old Younghyun dressed in the same outfit while grinning at the Sungjin beside him._ _ _

___“We were so cute, right? Look at that damn buzz cut you had. Do you want to bring it back?” Younghyun snickers._ _ _

___“Oh God, never again,” Sungjin deadpans._ _ _

___“Well, I think you looked really hot,” Younghyun shrugs. “Anyway, do you eat rice for breakfast or just toast? A sandwich? Pancakes or waffles? Do you have a waffle maker? How about coffee? Do you even have coffee beans here?”_ _ _

___Sungjin blinks at the sudden barrage of questions about breakfast. To him, Younghyun sounds like he’s speaking another language, so he simply replies, “Just make whatever you want, Younghyun.”_ _ _

___Younghyun says, “Alright,” but he still looks a bit uncertain, slightly pouting as he looks up in thought._ _ _

___So, Sungjin adds, “You know I’m not picky. If it’s edible, then I’ll eat it.”_ _ _

___To that, Younghyun nods, his mind already wandering off on all the possible food he could whip up for breakfast._ _ _

___“Well, goodnight,” Sungjin says, already turning away to walk out of the room._ _ _

___“Goodnight, Sungjin! See you tomorrow at breakfast,” Younghyun says._ _ _

___Sungjin nods at him before he turns around and starts to take a few steps to the door. Younghyun tilts his head in confusion, however, when Sungjin stops at the door and looks back at him._ _ _

___“I’m sorry about earlier. My words were insensitive and rude,” Sungjin says._ _ _

___Younghyun is poised to say that there is no need to apologize, but Sungjin turns away again even before he could do so._ _ _

___“Good night, Younghyun. Sleep tight.”_ _ _

_____ _

* * *

The intention behind Sungjin’s wish to make his wedding with Younghyun a simple affair is because he does not want to make it into something it isn’t. For him, it’s just another business deal. A really good one, but still a business deal. There really is no need to gather friends and family, or deck the halls with flowers and laces. They simply have to sign some papers, maybe have lunch at that sashimi place downtown that Younghyun really loves, then they could normally go about their respective days.

At least, that was Sungjin’s original plan. 

In the span of a week, however, Sungjin has had a gradual change of heart. No, he will not cancel the wedding. It will still happen. Rather, he decides that he no longer wants to be so nonchalant about it.

Sure, it _is_ just another business deal for him, but for Younghyun, Sungjin knows that it means so much more.

Sungjin is unable to pinpoint exactly what coaxed the desire to make Younghyun happy on their wedding day, but he has a few suspicions. Every morning since Younghyun moved in with him, Sungjin has been waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of Younghyun beautifully singing in harmony with the sizzling of the pan. All his meals are being made by Younghyun. Yes, he even prepares lunch boxes for Sungjin, complete with heart-shaped boiled eggs and star-shaped potatoes or carrots. He asks about his day at the dinner table, makes chamomile tea for them to sip while they watch trashy reality shows in the living room before bed.

Sungjin doesn’t know this yet, would rather not acknowledge it, but a soft spot for Younghyun in his heart is growing.

So, the day before the wedding, when he gets out of yet another meeting with ADS staff, Sungjin relays an unusual instruction to his secretary. He receives a wide-eyed look of disbelief from Nana. 

“You will be on leave tomorrow, Mr. Park? The whole day?” she says, still blinking owlishly.

“That’s correct,” Sungjin confirms while his hands are busy flipping through the minutes of the meeting he just attended.

“B-But you have important appointments tomorrow, sir,” Nana stutters.

“I don’t know if I ever informed you, but I’m getting married to Kang Hodong’s son tomorrow,” Sungjin says stoically. 

“Yes, Ms. Park. You have already informed me which is why I cleared your morning schedule because it is when the ceremony will take place but you said you will be here in the afternoon, so it’s okay to schedule meetings.”

Sungjin looks up and sees her expression, torn between confusion and perhaps a ghost of annoyance peeking through her professional front which is reasonable considering the way Sungjin had been so vocal about not making a big deal out of the wedding. He even told Nana that there would be no need to avoid scheduling important affairs on that day. 

“If you give me permission to be honest that the reason for the cancellation is that it is your wedding day, perhaps they will understand and agree to a change of schedule,” Nana offers when she notices the hesitation on Sungjin’s face.

“You have my permission,” Sungjin says.

There is the risk that this information will once again make it to the media, and be feasted upon by the internet. Sungjin could not give any fucks, though, Kang Hodong might even commend him for the brilliant ‘publicity stunt’.

“Make sure to let them know that I am sorry for the inconvenience. But if they ask about the short notice, tell them it’s for privacy purposes.”

Yes, Kang Hodong will approve of this.

“Certainly, sir. Is there anything else I could you help with, Mr. Park?”

“I’ll be leaving an hour early today. Feel free to go home early too,” Sungjin says.

“Thank you,” Nana says. Before leaving, she gives Sungjin a genuine smile and says, “Congratulations on the wedding, Mr. Park. I hope you enjoy tomorrow.”

Once Sungjin is left alone in the silence of his office, he unlocks his phone and sends Younghyun a message. 

_Will pick you up today. Wait for me._

Sungjin receives a reply two minutes later. He abandons the file he’s reading to open it.

_Why? Is everything alright, Sungjin?_

_I’ll tell you later. Don’t you have a class?_

_-_- you’re the one who distrubed me first. Tch._

Without waiting for Sungjin’s reply, Younghyun sends another message.

_See you later ^^_

Sungjin catches himself smiling at that. He could almost hear Younghyun’s cheery voice through his phone’s screen.

* * *

Some of his students chatted him up after class, so Younghyun gets out a bit later than usual. When he steps out of the school’s gates, it takes him a minute to spot Sungjin’s black Audi parked by the sidewalk a few paces away. Sungjin is outside the car waiting for him, leaning against the passenger side, his eyes hidden beneath jet black bangs as he scrolls through his phone. Coat gone, only in his white button down with the sleeves rolled up a bit to show off his strong veiny forearms, Sungjin is a sight to behold.

Younghyun smirks, noticing the lingering stares of every person, student or teacher, who happens to pass by him. It’s obvious that they’re gawking because Park Sungjin is so damn hot.

_My husband. Starting tomorrow._

He wants to show off to his students and co-teachers that the person they’re ogling at is his fiancé, so Younghyun holds his head up as he comes over to where Sungjin is. 

“Hey,” Younghyun greets Sungjin, playfully bumping him with his shoulder and flashing him with the cutest toothless smile.

Sungjin looks up and returns the smile, eyes transforming into crescents. 

“I was starting to wonder if you forgot that I’m picking you up,” Sungjin tells him. He locks his phone and slides it in the back pocket of his black slacks.

“Sorry. Have you been waiting long?” Younghyun furrows his brows in guilt.

“A while. But it’s okay. Get in,” Sungjin shrugs and Younghyun’s heart swells when he opens the door of the passenger seat for him.

“Thanks,” Younghyun is feeling bashful, cheeks heating up, but he still manages to relish the looks of surprise people are throwing in their direction.

They are still shamelessly staring at the two of them, some students animatedly talking amongst themselves as they walk away. He basks in the attention as he gets in and Sungjin closes the door.

When Sungjin starts the car and drives away from the school, Younghyun perks up, curiosity flooding back. 

“Is everything okay, Sungjin?

“Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. We just need to stop by the mall to pick up a few things for our wedding tomorrow,” Sungjin nonchalantly explains as he gets on the highway leading to the mall. 

Younghyun pauses and looks at Sungjin with narrowed eyes. 

“Is my father making us pull a silly publicity stunt tomorrow?”

“What?” Sungjin frowns. “No, he isn’t.”

“Then what is it? Just tell me, Sungjin,” Younghyun presses on a little impatiently and Sungjin is tempted to tease him a bit more for his own personal amusement. He can hear the pout in Younghyun’s voice and it’s kind of adorable.

He decides against this, though, deeming the action a little immature for a fully grown man like himself to do.

“I just had an idea to host an intimate backyard party. You know, to celebrate our wedding,” Sungjin divulges.

“A party? To _celebrate_ our wedding?” It’s Younghyun’s turn to gape at Sungjin now. He just couldn’t trust that he heard what Sungjin said correctly.

Sungjin hums, nodding. “Yes. It’ll just be our parents, my sister and a few of our really close friends. I’ve already called the guests. Less than twenty, but have a look at the list later. Feel free to uninvite or invite more people if you want.”

“Seriously, Sungjin? Are we really having a backyard party?” Younghyun repeats.

Hearing that, Sungjin throws him a quick concerned glance.

“You don’t want it?” Sungjin apprehensively says. “I’ll call it off if—”

“NO!” Younghyun cuts him off sharply, startling him a bit. “I like it! I _love_ it! A backyard party is actually a great idea, Sungjin!”

The creases on Sungjin’s forehead ease a bit at that. It would be quite a nightmare to call all those people again just to cancel after he invited them on such short notice. 

“I-I just can’t believe that you are legitimately initiating a celebration for a wedding you don’t even want. I thought you’d just want to go back to work after signing marriage papers at the courthouse.”

They stop at a red light. Sungjin uses the chance to regard Younghyun earnestly.

“Well, this wedding means something to you, so I want to make it memorable. For you. I just want to give you something to show you that I appreciate the love you tirelessly give my undeserving ass.”

“Sungjin…”

“It’s a new chapter in our lives. Sungjin and Younghyun are no longer _just_ friends. And I did say I want to try to make things work, right? This is me trying, Younghyun.”

The stoplight changes to green too soon, the cars behind are honking at them urgently, robbing Younghyun of the chance to reply as Sungjin quickly looks away and starts driving again.

Younghyun is unmoving in his seat.

During their time as university students, Sungjin had a certain boyish playfulness in him. Younghyun vividly remembers the dorky smiles, mischievously twinkling eyes, and obnoxiously loud and high-pitched laughter. He toned down when his father started training him to be the future CEO of Park and Co.; he had to act mature so he would be taken seriously. 

Sungjin’s playfulness hid away. In place of his dorky smile, Sungjin puts on an almost permanent business smile on his face — not too small but not too wide either. His eyes still twinkle but the mischief has now been replaced with wisdom age has given him. 

One thing remains completely the same, though, and that is Sungjin’s unwillingness to wear his heart out on his sleeve for the whole world to see. Sungjin has always been closed off when it comes to expressing his feelings that are more profound.

At first, just like everyone else, Younghyun seriously considered the possibility that perhaps Sungjin is simply incapable of feeling certain emotions, like some part of his humanity is not functioning properly. As he got to know Sungjin better, though, this theory of his has been proven wrong multiple times.

Sungjin just has a different way of asserting his feelings and using words is not his tool of choice. 

But on the rare occasions that Sungjin does use words, Younghyun would always be left reeling. Whether it’s an expression of how much he values Younghyun’s friendship or how his love for Sungjin can be burdensome sometimes, it would always have the same effect.

Today is no different. 

As they drive nearer and nearer to their destination, Younghyun could not bear to peel his eyes away from Sungjin, scared that he would suddenly vanish and everything would turn out to be just a dream cruelly crafted to plant hope in his heart only to steal them away even before they bear any fruit. 

Hope is dangerous, but Younghyun thought that maybe it’s finally safe to welcome it with open arms.


	4. little by little

It is with great difficulty that Sungjin wakes up on their wedding day. His right arm feels like it has been trodden down by burly football players while he was sleeping and his lower back is not faring any better. He tries to turn over to his side but his whole body feels too stiff to coordinate even a single movement. No, he did not get into a fist fight or any sort of fight the previous night; rather, he and Younghyun had been up until almost the crack of dawn trying to prepare the dishes that they would serve at the backyard party that Sungjin so casually pulled out of his impulsive brain. They pored over Younghyun’s secondhand cookbook, bickering both jokingly and seriously over the ingredients and the processes.

In the end, they both decided to just have Sungjin’s secretary order food from a restaurant and have it delivered to his house in time for the party. As a result of their ambitious quest, Sungjin now has a trash can overflowing with wasted ingredients and another person added to their guestlist. It seemed rude to have Nana order food for them then not ask her to attend. 

Back to Sungjin having a hard time waking up, he now tries to swallow in an attempt to ease his scratchy throat—a result of repeatedly sampling and judging the overly sweet cake batter that Younghyun whipped up. He could also tell that the putrid taste of that particular garlicky sauce is still lingering on his taste buds, impressively overshadowing the horrible taste of morning breath. 

As Sungjin rubs sleep off his eyes, he could now make out Younghyun’s figure standing over at the foot of his bed. Although already showered and dressed for the day, Sungjin could tell that beneath Younghyun’s cheerful smile, he doesn’t seem any less tired than him.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!” Younghyun says as he claps too energetically. “We’re scheduled to tie the knot at the courthouse in an hour.”

Sungjin groans, stretching his limbs and yawning like a great big oaf who’s done hibernating. Ever loving Younghyun, nonetheless, coos at the sight. 

“You’re cute stretching and yawning like that, but your father called me already. He said they need to have a word with us before the ceremony, so go shower and I’ll have a sandwich prepared for you to eat on the way there,” Younghyun urges. 

With nothing more than a groan to acknowledge what Younghyun said, Sungjin finally stands up and absentmindedly peels off his white shirt. Only in his boxers, Sungjin walks over to the window to draw the curtains apart and let the golden morning sunshine in, missing the devastated look that Younghyun gave his shirtless glory. 

Finally noticing Younghyun gaping at him, Sungjin says, “What?”

Younghyun catches himself and is quick to stammer out, “Nothing. I-I, ah, I-I just want to tell you they sent us a-a limousine. It’s already waiting at the...at the driveway.”

“That is totally unnecessary, but okay. I’ll shower now, then,” Sungjin yawns again, moving past Younghyun to enter his bathroom. 

When the door shuts close, Younghyun gives himself a slap, quietly scolding himself about how he should not have reacted like a horny teenager. He had already seen Sungjin shirtless countless times. Nothing new. Nothing that he had not seen before.

Muttering and shaking his head at his stupidity, Younghyun marches out of Sungjin’s room to get a breather and to prepare the sandwich he promised.

The courthouse is just fifteen minutes away from Sungjin’s place. In spite the distance, however, they only had a couple of minutes to spare upon arriving so their parents immediately whisk them away in a deserted waiting room to talk to them quickly. 

Younghyun’s mom and dad are present. Hodong cannot stop smiling while his wife, Kyungmi, looks like she is still deciding whether it is more appropriate to laugh or cry out of happiness. 

Their only son is getting married and Sungjin understands that it is only natural for them to share Younghyun’s joy.

Sungjin’s parents, likewise, have pleasant expressions as well. Although not as delighted as the Kangs, he could tell that Byungman is proud of Sungjin for getting married to a person who, in his opinion, is more than worthy. His mother, Haera, is her usual quiet self, a supportive presence behind her husband, giving Sungjin a sweet smile.

“Hana wishes to extend her apology,” Byungman says referring to Sungjin’s older sister, “she won’t be able to attend the ceremony for personal reasons. But she said that she will make it to the party this evening.”

Hodong nods, acknowledging what Byungman said before clearing his throat as he straightens his coat jacket. “The day has come for our families to finally become one. My wife and I couldn’t have asked for someone better to be our Younghyun’s partner for life.”

There is a sudden dryness in Sungjin’s mouth accompanied by a drop in his stomach. It is finally dawning on him what is about to take place. He has a sudden urge to drop down on the floor and cradle his face in his hands. Maybe if he does that, the sudden influx of anxious thoughts would ebb away. 

Despite this, Sungjin stays upright, willing himself to hold it together. He inhales deep and exhales slowly, assuring himself that his worries are unfounded. The action seems to have alerted Younghyun, who looks over with his brows knitted together in worry. Sungjin flashes what he hopes is a reassuring smile in return.

Half of what Byungman said has been drowned out by the sound of Sungjin’s heart pounding against his ribcage. When he finally manages to get his ears to work properly again, he hears Byungman talking about how else this wedding could help make the launch of their online malls a great success.

“...our official company photographer over there will snap a couple photographs here at the courthouse, then at the backyard party. Of course, only if you do not mind.” 

Only then does Sungjin realize that there is an unknown man standing at the corner of the room. Apparently, he is the photographer.

“The pictures will be posted on the company’s official website. I am sure you’re quite aware that we have some sort of a ‘News’ section over there. Hardly anyone visits the official website and reads through that part, so with your permission, the PR team thought it is best to post the announcement at the ADS social media accounts as well.”

“How come I was not consulted regarding this on the numerous meetings that I’ve had with ADS?” Sungjin says, knitting his brows together in a slight frown.

The question seems to have slightly taken Hodong by surprise. He quickly raises his eyebrows but is, nonetheless, able to come up with an answer.

“Well, the meetings were already so hectic as it is with the logistics of the launch and the likes. It seemed inappropriate to bring this up when everyone is scrambling to iron out all the technical matters,” Hodong reasons.

“Regardless, I do believe that _this_ is a matter which concerns the launch as well. It is an advertising tactic I wish I had the chance to think about longer. I would have wanted to weigh in potential risks,” Sungjin retorts, ignoring the look of disapproval that his father, Byungman, is giving him. 

“Sungjin’s right. You can’t just put us on the spot like this, dad,” Younghyun pipes up and Sungjin appreciates the support amidst all the reproving looks the adults are sending him.

Hodong looks at his son, evidently feeling a bit betrayed that his only son is siding with Sungjin. 

_And they aren’t even married yet!_

“Children, you know you can just say no if you do not approve,” says Hodong in a tone which suggests that he is hurt. “I had the impression that you heard me when I said that we will only push through when we have your consent.”

Sungjin’s ears feel hot when he realizes that Hodong just called them ‘children’. When will adults ever treat them like co-adults?

“What do you think, Sungjin? I’ll go with whatever you think is best. You know business better than I do,” Younghyun consults, lightly elbowing him on the arm to catch his attention. 

“Just one picture here. The party at my house later is a restricted event,” Sungjin decides after a moment of consideration.

“That’s a good boy!” Hodong says, looking satisfied as he clasps his hands together. 

Younghyun rolls his eyes at that while Sungjin feels his ears heat up even more. 

“If you don’t mind, though, Mr. Kang,” Sungjin adds, “moving forward, I think it is best for you and your PR team to consult Younghyun and I beforehand if you have planned an advertising strategy which involves us and our relationship.”

Hodong laughs goodnaturedly at that but gives his word that he will do so in the future. Sungjin thinks that his slight defiance had only been forgiven because Hodong is too happy that he implied that they would still be willing to participate in their publicity stunts in the future.

They are then whisked out of the empty courtroom to enter the one assigned for their ceremony. A man, probably the judge who will officiate their wedding, is already waiting at the front of the room. Seemingly already in his mid sixties, dressed in a black and purple robe with a full head of artificially dyed black hair, the judge does not seem to have lots of patience as he regards them with his mouth pressed in a disapproving thin wrinkly line. Seeing this, their whole entourage kind of hurries towards the front to get the ceremony started. They are starting at least ten minutes later than the originally scheduled time. 

The wedding is quite straightforward; void of all the typical sentimental elements a traditional wedding features. Before they know it, they are already signing their marriage contract. Now that the ordeal is done, the strict-looking judge is already smiling as he shakes their hands.

“Congratulations on the wedding. Well wishes for the future of your married life and your companies,” the judge says before he stalks out of the courtroom, leaving Sungjin and Younghyun with their families now legally united by the marriage that just took place.

“Hey,” Sungjin turns to see Younghyun grinning at him so widely that his cheeks look close to bursting. “You’re my husband now.”

“Bet you’re very pleased about that,” Sungjin playfully replies as he snorts and narrows his eyes at Younghyun.

“You can bet all your limbs that I am!” Younghyun chuckles, body slightly leaning into him as he clasps both of his hands around Sungjin’s upper arm; a gesture that Sungjin finds a bit intimate.

“Right,” Sungjin clears his throat but does not make a move to remove Younghyun’s gentle hold on his arm.

The situation is a tad awkward for Sungjin. 

He notes with a befuddled brain that what he is experiencing is not at all a bad, uncomfortable type of awkward—if that even makes any sense—but it is kind of a bashful type of awkward akin to what a teenage boy would possibly feel when a person they like is giving them unexpected attention.

Yes, Sungjin thinks that’s what he’s feeling, but he cannot be too sure either. He had never been good with feelings, after all. But he pushes this at the back of his mind as he lets his hands uselessly hang at his sides while Younghyun is looking like he just found out that he won the lottery. He continues to hold onto Sungjin as their parents are now crowding around them, congratulating them.

“The pictures are all beautiful!” Kyungmi exclaims, glowing as she stands next to her husband.

“We simply could not choose just one picture,” Byungman says. “So if you would please free us of the burden of choosing which one to post, it would be greatly appreciated.”

Ignoring the surprise that he feels upon learning that pictures have already been taken without them even having to pose, Sungjin looks at the photographer’s phone screen (wow, he even transferred the pictures from his camera already). 

Younghyun gasps in awe when they see this particular picture, Sungjin has to agree that it came out quite nice. It is a shot against the bright light pouring through the enormous windows at the front part of the courtroom, the sunlight divided by the widely spaced grills of the windows. The scattered sun rays fall strategically so that they circle the tops of Sungjin’s and Younghyun’s heads like halos. Their facial features are vague, the effect highlighting the outline of their silhouettes more; the way their light-colored suits look in that lighting gives the picture a sort of grungy vibe.

Sungjin lets his eyes trail to their hands, it was obviously taken when he was putting the silver wedding band on Younghyun’s ring finger. 

“This is really nice, isn’t it?” Younghyun says breathlessly, looking over at Sungjin with a smitten smile for what feels like the hundredth time that day. 

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” Sungjin says.

* * * 

The backyard party is in full swing by seven in the evening. All eighteen of their guests, composed of their immediate family members and closest friends, are all beyond full with the delicious food that Nana had ordered for the couple. She even had enough sense to get them a proper two-tiered wedding cake despite the short notice.

Younghyun and Sungjin have a small table to themselves at the front and from there, they are watching their best friends argue about what song to sing next. They are also fighting over Younghyun’s acoustic guitar.

“I think Wonpil has had too much wine. Look at him acting all cute,” Sungjin points out their friends sitting around the table a few feet away from them.

Indeed, Wonpil is doing cutesy gestures in an attempt to appeal to Jae to let him have a go at playing the guitar. He doesn’t even play the guitar, so Jae is having none of it. Dowoon is watching at the sidelines, cackling loudly, obviously very delighted by the hilarious sight.

“Let him be! It’s entertaining,” Younghyun says. 

Judging from his flushed cheeks and giggly disposition, Sungjin knows that Younghyun is no better than Wonpil. Even Sungjin could tell that he himself is also feeling some of his coherence slipping away.

It will be a challenge, really, to hold back on drinking in celebration when the atmosphere is charged with so much warmth, happiness and excitement. 

Before sunset, Sungjin and Younghyun had set out to drape fairy lights around the perimeter of the garden and hung small circular lanterns overhead so that the place is now glowing brightly. There is a magnificent fire in the outdoor hearth, radiating warmth in this chilly November night. 

Adding to the cozy atmosphere, the attendees are all people that Sungjin and Younghyun truly treasure. Loved ones who have witnessed them become friends and have been sympathetic witnesses to the way Younghyun hopelessly chased after Sungjin. Despite the nature of how they end up being married now, they are all just here to celebrate the unity of two people whom they think should have gotten together a very long time ago. 

Unexpectedly, Sungjin is enjoying himself as well. How could he not when he has a belly full of delicious food and a bloodstream positively buzzing with the right amount of alcohol? 

Younghyun is by his side, still laughing at the silliness of their friends. Sungjin is now just noticing that Younghyun has inched his chair closer to his and is now leaning his head on Sungjin’s shoulder. Usually, he is not one to tolerate physical contact—not only from Younghyun, but from anyone, really. He values his personal space but right now, the feeling of closeness is comforting and Sungjin just feels too ecstatic to really be bothered by anything.

Park and Co. is far from becoming bankrupt. Their future is bright and secure, filled with potential for growth. Even though he gets more stressed and is working harder than ever, the thought of now having Younghyun to come home to in what used to be an empty house keeps him going more than anything. He now has something to look forward to at the end of each day.

Everything is going well.

This is not where Sungjin imagined himself to be at this age; being married to Kang Younghyun whom he repeatedly isolated in the friendzone, and being groomed to be the next CEO of ADS. Sungjin, however, thinks he could not have asked for a better reality.

“Ladies and gents, may I please have your attention!”

Long-limbed and skinny, Jae is standing in the middle of the garden, his small face flushed pink from intoxication as he carelessly hits his wine glass with the cake knife. By the time the guests have their full attention on him, Sungjin could see that the wine glass has cracked from the assault.

“Whoooo, Jae!” Younghyun yells, cupping his hands around his mouth to magnify his already booming voice. Sungjin snorts at the sight.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Jae hiccups before continuing with a cheeky smile. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the much-awaited union between the two stupidest human beings—”

“Hey!” Sungjin cries out in protest, causing Younghyun and their other friends to burst out laughing.

“Sorry, Bob, you know we still love you both despite your lack of brain cells,” Jae says and despite himself, Sungjin actually laughs upon hearing his old nickname. “Anyway, as I was saying before one of the idiots interrupted me...where was I?”

Jae sways on his feet but is upright once again as he recalls what he had been saying. 

“Right—please no more interruptions from now on! As I was saying, we are gathered here to celebrate Sungjin and Younghyun’s wedding. I get all choked up and emotional at the memory of the time when Sungjin was first introduced to our friend group by Wonpil. I could tell right away that Sungjin had caught the interest of the great Kang Younghyun. Sungjin was fascinating for Younghyun, he was smart, responsible and talented but still amazingly managed to have a sense of humor. 

I think we all realized that Younghyun liked Sungjin even before he himself did. I mean, how could we not know when all he did when we all hung out was casually throw compliments at Sungjin? It was cute but a bit puke-worthy, to be honest.”

“I couldn’t help myself! He was just so perfect! Still is!” Younghyun, ever the confidently shameless person that he is, interjects.

The other guests laugh at that and Sungjin hides his face in his hands, mortified on Younghyun’s behalf. 

“I said no interruptions, Kang!”

Another bout of laughter before Jae clears his throat to continue. 

“The journey to get the ever evasive Park Sungjin was painful even to those who just watched at the sides. I think there’s no need for us to dive into the details of Younghyun’s pining, (“I didn’t pine! That’s a pathetic word!” Younghyun interrupts once again but Jae ignores him) because we have now arrived at their happy ending.

I would just like you guys to know how happy I am that you are finally together now—especially to—to Younghyun, dude, I’m—so—happy for—you! You—you can stop feeling so bad—about—your—your—”

Jae is suddenly sobbing, shoulders quivering as he plops down on the grass. Wonpil and Dowoon are immediately by his side; Dowoon coos at him and hugs him comfortingly while Wonpil attempts to finish the impromptu speech for Jae.

Sungjin’s older sister is also crying, a hand resting on top of her heart while Younghyun’s mother is positively crying into Hodong’s shoulder. Nana looks like she’s avidly watching a live melodrama. Byungman is looking around in amusement while his own wife is dabbing her tearful eyes with the table napkin.

Despite being drunk himself, Wonpil seems far more coherent than Jae. Well, that is until he opens his mouth.

“CONGRATULATIONS, SUNGJIN AND YOUNGHYUN!!!” Wonpil shouts. “NOW, KISS!”

Dowoon, the little rascal, abandons the still crying Jae to start cheering alongside Wonpil, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

The other guests have joined as well, some even standing up and fist pumping to accompany the cheering. 

“Kiss, you pussies!” Jae, who has stopped crying, screams. 

“Sungjin.”

He feels a hand lightly touching his upper arm and when he turns, Younghyun is looking at him all red in the face. His eyes are tearful too but he is giving Sungjin a broad grin that looks half hopeful and half sheepish. 

A dozen emotions course through Sungjin’s veins. They overlap, dancing over one another, weaving in and out and blurring together.

Younghyun puts a hand on Sungjin’s nape. He tilts his head as he leans in closer. Sungjin, head vacant of any thought, closes the gap between them and lets their lips meet for their first ever kiss. 

Cheers errupt around them but they all seem like an afterthought, a distant memory to Younghyun whose brain cannot process anything but the feeling of Sungjin’s slightly chapped but pillowy lips against his own. As cheesy and cliche as this may sound, time really does seem to slow down the moment they touched. 

Their family and friends, all experiencing some degree of drunkenness, are whooping, clapping and hugging one another as the newlyweds share their first kiss. Jae has managed to grab the wine glass once more and is hitting it yet again with the cake knife, but this time, with even more force. Wonpil and Dowoon are hugging, weeping on each other’s shoulders. 

They pull away after a few seconds. 

Sungjin’s face and ears are a bright shade of scarlet as he avoids Younghyun’s eyes, opting to grin at the others instead. Younghyun’s lips are tingling pleasantly as if it has just been touched by the softest feather in the world while his nerves are buzzing euphorically.

This night feels like a fairytale. There is no other way to put it.

* * *

A little over a month into the marriage with Sungjin, Younghyun has to pinch himself at least once a week just to be certain that he is not living in some prolonged sweet dream. The married life has so far been quite enjoyable for Younghyun.

As the days go by, he finds that Sungjin is surprising him with his gestures more and more. Yes, Sungjin did say that he is willing to make the relationship work but Younghyun did not expect for him to try this much. 

Of course, true to Sungjin’s character, he does not manifest his efforts in grand gestures. It is all in the little things.

For one, Sungjin has taken a particular interest in food preparation. On the days when he is able to finish work early, he would call Younghyun before driving home to ask if he wants Sungjin to buy him a snack or if he needs something from the grocery. Whenever Sungjin gets home, he would always hover in the kitchen, trying to see if there is anything he could do to help Younghyun with dinner. 

Sungjin does some cooking for them of his own now too.

Although he mostly just makes whatever instant food he finds in the fridge at two in the morning, Younghyun, whose bedroom is just across the open kitchen, would always be lured out of it by the smell of food wafting through the crack under his door. He would hoist himself up, pajamas and all, at the tall kitchen stool. He would rest his chin on the marble counter while waiting for Sungjin to finish cooking their snack. It is endearing to watch Sungjin’s broad back hunched over their stove or microwave (most of the time, it’s the microwave) as they talk about everything from their mundane daily lives to bizzare philosophical ideas.

Younghyun also finds out how interesting it is to hear how company meetings went through Sungjin’s perspective; having humor as dry as his would assure that he always has at least one savage comment about his colleagues which Younghyun mostly finds funny.

“Nana is such a damn pushover. Dad’s secretary, Hanmin, is making her do some of her work too. If I didn’t find out, she would have continued letting herself be bullied, you know,” Sungjin had said one night as he was making more instant cheese sticks in the microwave since Younghyun finished most of the first batch and they both still wanted more.

Yes, Sungjin could make really harsh remarks but Younghyun has come to realize that he just wants the best for everyone.

“You aren’t getting bullied by your senior co-teachers, are you?” Sungjin had suddenly said. Younghyun had looked up to see Sungjin staring at him questioningly.

“‘Course not!” Younghyun said through a mouthful of cheese sticks. “If they try to bully me, I’m going to tell them to fuck off right off the bat! I’m not a pushover. I have the worst resting bitch face, so they just don’t really bother me. They probably think I’m some snooty brat.”

“So are you saying you don’t have friends at work, Younghyun?” Sungjin worriedly asked as he set down the second batch of cheese sticks on the counter.

Younghyun immediately reached out for one with his hand before abruptly recoiling with a wince when it almost burned the skin off his fingers, so Sungjin clicked his tongue at him, “Careful.”

“Well, I’m on speaking terms with them but we don’t eat together. They all gather at the pantry but I choose to eat in peace at my desk. I never meant any disrespect but you know how blunt I could get. I’m sure you also know how old people don’t exactly like it when you point out their mistakes.”

Sungjin was mostly quiet after that until they finished their cheese sticks and went back to their respective bedrooms.

Immediately the day after that, Younghyun got a call from Sungjin at lunch time. Yes, Sungjin brushed it off by saying that he was just checking up on Younghyun since he had some spare time, but he didn’t hang up until five minutes before Younghyun’s break ended. From then on, Sungjin would never fail to call in time for lunch. He played it off as not being busy for a whole two weeks until Younghyun had finally stopped asking. He understood already that it was Sungjin’s own way of making sure that Younghyun would not be lonely while everyone else ate at the pantry.

Owing to the fact that he is enjoying his life with Sungjin, Younghyun finds that the days have flown by very quickly. 

Soon enough, the layer of snow on the roads is thick, Christmas carols can be heard everywhere and, of course, his birthday is fast approaching. In fact, Younghyun’s birthday is tomorrow. The winter vacation has already begun in the school he teaches at, so Younghyun took it upon himself to plan a weekend getaway with Sungjin and their other friends before Christmas.

Jae immediately said he would join. Wonpil agreed when Younghyun said that they would be going somewhere tropical, and Dowoon decided he would tag along when reassured that Sungjin and Younghyun would have their own room. 

_“I don’t want my innocence tainted.”_

Younghyun had merely snorted at that because, intimacy wise, apart from that kiss during their wedding party, Sungjin and him had not progressed any farther. Younghyun can barely get a hug from Sungjin. He isn’t complaining, though. He likes the pace that they’re at. The emotional connection that they are forming is already a significant progress.

The most-awaited launch of ADS’ online malls is tonight, the eve of Younghyun’s birthday. There would be a huge event and a bunch of very important people in business and commerce would be present. As a result, Sungjin has probably been the busiest and most stressed out person in the country in the past few days.

There are dark bags beneath Sungjin’s eyes, his hair is not as neat as it usually is and his skin is raw, no doubt from the compulsively aggressive scrubbing whenever he is trying to let out some steam in the shower. 

So, when Younghyun had mentioned the weekend getaway to him, Sungjin actually looked grateful. He obviously needs a break once the launch is out of the way.

The sun has barely peeked through the horizon when Younghyun wakes up that day due to an unknown reason. Still drowsy, he blankly stares at the ceiling. With nothing particularly occupying his mind, he rolls over and starts drifting back to sleep. He feels himself steadily slipping into unconsciousness until—

_CRASH!_

The sleepiness is completely gone now. With his eyes wide open, Younghyun bolts up in a sitting position. His hand already reaching for his phone, ready to call the police.

“Fucking hell. Damn you, you stupid bowl!”

Younghyun pauses, thumb hovering above the number one on his phone’s keypad. That sounds like Sungjin. Abandoning his phone on the bed, Younghyun gets out of bed, deciding to see why Sungjin is making such a racket at such an ungodly hour. They just had their midnight snack an hour ago, damn it.

When Younghyun opens the door of his room, he sees Sungjin right away hunched over the floor, cursing and muttering under his breath as he gathers pieces of broken ceramic. 

“Sungjin?”

The sound of his voice startles Sungjin, making him jump and cut his finger with the sharp ceramic.

“Damn it!” Sungjin growls, abandoning the broken bowl on the ground to wash his bleeding finger at the sink. 

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” Younghyun exclaims.

He rushes to Sungjin’s side and sees that his wound is a bit deep, but it thankfully looks like the bleeding will stop soon. Younghyun makes a beeline towards the fridge to rummage through the cupboard above it for the first aid kit. Sungjin is now standing by the counter, watching Younghyun skid a little when he tries to avoid the broken ceramic on the floor. 

“Where are your slippers? You’re going to injure your feet!” Sungjin tells him off but Younghyun ignores it and he safely makes his way back to him with the first aid kit.

“It’s not even six o’clock, Sungjin. What were you even doing? Is everything okay?” Younghyun says as he wraps a band aid around Sungjin’s wounded finger.

“Making breakfast, because I’m hungry already,” Sungjin sulks, looking up at Younghyun apologetically. “Sorry I woke you up. That damn bowl slipped out of my hand.”

The circles under Sungjin’s eyes are darker than ever, his skin has turned a bit sallow and his lips are chapped and raw as if he chewed on them all night.

“Are you sick?” Younghyun frowns, putting a hand on Sungjin’s forehead to gauge his temperature.

Sungjin shakes his head. “No, I just couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop stressing about the launch, you know. I keep going over the plans in my head. My brain won’t stop coming up with ways on how things could go very badly.”

“Oh, Sungjin,” Younghyun sighs, feeling bad that Sungjin has been losing sleep over this.

“I just want everything to be perfect,” Sungjin continue. “ADS gave Park and Co. its second life, so I would really hate it if we fuck up so bad and hurt your company’s reputation too.”

“Sungjin, everybody, especially you, worked really hard for the success of the online mall. My dad won’t shut up about how dynamic and competent you are at work, you know, and he _never_ thinks anyone is competent enough. 

You should really give yourself more credit. Everything will go according to plan, okay? I have faith in you.”

Sungjin manages a small smile at that but Younghyun can tell that it isn’t a happy one.

“You know, Younghyun, your father’s faith in me really reminds me of you. I appreciate it, but it could really be burdensome. It’s hard being put on such a high pedestal when I’m really not even half as great as you think I am. I’ve been nothing but an insensitive asshole to you and yet, you’re still here loving me—why? I really do not deserve your devotion...or your father’s trust...I don’t deserve any of it.”

Without saying anything, Younghyun gathers Sungjin in his arms and squeezes him in the tightest hug he could manage. Sungjin goes rigid at first and, for a brief moment, Younghyun is scared that he might get pushed away. Almost immediately, however, Sungjin melts into the hug, torso falling forward to lean into Younghyun’s warmth.

“I also don’t know why I love you this much, Sungjin,” Younghyun quietly says against Sungjin’s shoulder, “But don’t you ever think that you’re not deserving of my love or anybody’s love, okay?”

Sungjin does not say anything in reply to that but he wraps his arms around Younghyun’s waist, fists clinging tightly onto Younghyun’s shirt.


	5. tropical calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: implied sexual content

Applause echoes from every corner of the spacious function room that ADS has booked for the night’s festivities. This evening, they are not only celebrating the launch of the highly anticipated ADS online mall, but also Younghyun’s 28th birthday. Sungjin feels his stomach turning, his head feels light, his vision is blurred at the edges and his hands cannot stop trembling as they rest upon the podium. While he stands there, having just finished his speech, he catches sight of multiple well-known faces; business tycoons of varying generations, influential socialites, a handful of celebrities and a gaggle of members of the press all looking at him with wide smiles.

The MC for tonight’s event calls for yet another round of applause before he thanks Sungjin for the inspiring speech. Sungjin takes that as his cue to get off the stage. Unsurprisingly, he feels his feet moving on their own accord as his brain is still addled with disbelief that everything seems to be going according to plan. Not a single thing has gone wrong so far and as much as Sungjin feels that he should not be too complacent, he thinks that perhaps it’s alright to let himself breathe a little easier. 

Sungjin continues to walk through the tables, feet still on autopilot as they take him back to his own table at the center of the room, the one he shares with his father, his father-in-law and of course, his husband, Younghyun. Several prominent board members also share the table but when he finally manages to arrive there, it is Younghyun who gets up and greets him first with a huge grin on his glowing face. 

Younghyun takes Sungjin by surprise when he kisses him on the cheek and whispers in a low voice so that only they could hear, “You spoke so well. I’m so proud of you!”

Sungjin is almost certain that his brain is melting by now, but he does not get to linger on that thought because someone else pulls him in a quick hug and, after a second, he is looking at his own father. Byungman is beaming at him, positively swelling with pride as he continues to pat Sungjin’s back.

“The launch is a success. Have you heard?”

Another person bounds up to them and Sungjin soon finds himself face to face with Hodong who is wearing an identical expression as Byungman.

“We’re getting a significant amount of traffic on the website! We’re operating nearly at maximum capacity,” Hodong says, looking like the happiest man on Earth. 

That forces Sungjin’s brain to function properly once again as worry creeps up in his guts. He opens his mouth, wanting to tell Byungman that he would call their staff to prevent the website from crashing, but Byungman languidly waves a hand.

“There is no need to trouble yourself, Sungjin. That kid you hired as the domain manager is a genius. I believe so, at least. He is already doing some technical stuff, one that I would never understand in this lifetime, to keep the website from going up in flames!” Byungman gleefully informs Sungjin as he takes a hearty sip of his champagne.

“Your sister keeps showing us statements from people who have already tried doing their shopping through the website. The vast majority seems to be more than satisfied,” Byungman adds and Hodong makes a delighted sound at that, enthusiastically clinking his wine glass with Byungman’s. 

“Let’s just hope they will still be satisfied once the parcels start rolling out. I hope they get delivered on their doorsteps just fine,” Sungjin worriedly says.

“Oh, don’t spoil the old men’s happiness, you worry wart!” Younghyun says, linking their arms together as he playfully glares at Sungin. “Light up and enjoy the night, okay?”

“Okay,” Sungjin replies robotically without any real conviction causing Younghyun to jokingly pout up at him. 

“If you don’t wipe that frown off your pretty face, I might have to kiss you,” Younghyun mutters.

To Younghyun’s satisfaction, Sungjin lets out a laugh at that. A waiter carrying a tray with glasses of champagne passes by and Younghyun takes one to give to Sungjin who sips it gratefully. He feels the nerves slowly calming down, his hands stop shaking, his vision is finally clear and he can think properly again. 

With Younghyun sticking closely by his side, Sungjin makes his rounds from table to table, saying hello and thanking the guests for coming. They make small talk; discussing business with the old men in crisp suits, cooing about the blissful life of newlyweds with the gorgeous socialites and discussing more business with the members of the press. 

“There have been hushed whispers from the grapevine that you, Mr. Park Sungjin, will take over ADS once Mr. Kang Byungman retires. Is there some truth to this? Is this the only reason why you agreed to marry Mr. Kang’s son?” a reporter from a famous newspaper suddenly asks. 

Younghyun lets out the softest gasp at the last question but it does not go unnoticed. The reporter looks at him pryingly but Sungjin is able to avert the attention back to himself with his answer. 

“I still have so much to experience and learn to be able to qualify for that position but, nonetheless, I am up for the challenge. I will work my hardest so that I can be considered a worthy candidate.”

Even before the reporter can ask a follow up question, Sungjin thanks them once again for coming to the event then he walks away, pulling Younghyun along by the hand.

“Fucking nosey jerk,” Sungjin says when they are standing by the mini bar at the very back of the room. 

There are no other people hanging around here and the light is dim but Younghyun could still see that Sungjin is scowling as he tells the barman, “Whiskey. Dry.”

The barman looks at Younghyun expectantly so he says, “Just cola, thanks.”

Once they have their drinks and the barman busies himself wiping wet glasses, Younghyun watches Sungjin finish his whiskey in one gulp. 

He makes a face and tells Sungjin, “Look, you can’t have a hangover tomorrow, okay? Our flight is in the morning.”

“That reporter was really rude,” Sungjin says, scowling even deeper as he mumbles further. “And in front of you too...tactless...no manners.”

“Maybe a little,” Younghyun shrugs. “Luckily, you handled it with class. I’m so proud of you.”

Sungjin remains quiet but the expression on his face is softer now. They stand in silence for a few moments until Younghyun finishes sipping his cola. 

Looking at his watch, Sungjin says, “Shall we get out of here?”

“What—Sungjin, it’s not even ten o’clock yet.”

“That reporter really spoiled my mood. Come on, let’s finish packing for the trip.”

Younghyun’s interest is piqued but still, he says, “Don’t we have to say goodbye to everyone? We’re kind of the main people tonight.”

“Our fathers can deal with that.”

Younghyun is still uncertain if they really should be ditching the party but when he sees the mischievous glint in Sungjin’s eyes, all inhibitions are thrown out the window.

“Okay, quick! Let’s go!”

They hurry towards the exit without looking back. They don’t exactly know why but by the time the valet pulls up at the main entrance with Sungjin’s black Audi, they are giggling like teenagers, pleased with what they’ve done.

* * * 

When Sungjin was not yet married, when he had yet to meet Younghyun, when he was still a teenager enduring the gross displays of his parents’ affection for each other, Sungjin swore that he would never become _that_ type of husband. Of course, he had every intention to be a loving husband but he promised himself that he would not be a blatantly gross and overly sweet one.

Sungjin made that promise to his sixteen-year-old self while he watched his parents feed each other some ice pops while flirting with what sounded like outdated pick-up lines on a particularly burning hot summer day.

And yet, here he is: fully grown, 28-year-old Park Sungjin. He realizes as he lights up the lone candle on top of the stupidly oversized chocolate muffin, that he has indeed become _that_ gross husband. He decides that he will just feel embarrassed later, however, because he can already hear Younghyun calling him from upstairs and it will not be long before he would also hear the sound of his footsteps descending the stairs.

Younghyun has been helping Sungjin pack for their weekend getaway. They really do not need to bring much but Younghyun is yet another doting husband who wants to make sure that Sungjin has everything he needs. That’s why he is in Sungjin’s room, doing all the packing for him and Sungjin is in the kitchen on the excuse that he will just be retrieving his countless vitamins and food supplements.

“Sungjin?” Younghyun yells again from upstairs, this time sounding a bit worried. 

By now, it is already a little past midnight, therefore, it’s already Younghyun’s birthday. 

“What’s taking you so long?”

Sungjin deliberately does not respond. What he wants is for Younghyun to come to where he is so that he could see Sungjin’s cheesy attempt at a small surprise. Oh, if only Sungjin’s teenage self could witness this, there is no doubt that the 28-year-old Sungjin will receive an incredulous look before getting a grossed out expression. It will be understandable, Sungjin thinks as he considers how he must look right now. He has a muffin in one hand and the other is clutching a bouquet of flowers.

Soon enough, Sungjin hears the telltale sound of Younghyun’s footsteps hurrying down the stairs whilst still calling for him. He skids to a halt, however, when he sees Sungjin standing in the middle of the dark kitchen.

“Happy Birthday!” Sungjin cheerfully says, his smiling face illuminated solely by the candle on the muffin. 

Younghyun’s mouth opens wide at the sight and he continues to gape for a few seconds as if he is unable to make sense of what he’s seeing. A few seconds pass by before he gets over the initial shock and when he finally does, he puts a hand on his heart, coos at Sungjin in such a high-pitched tone and walks over.

“You have flowers,” Younghyun breathlessly says when he reaches Sungjin, “for me?”

“Well, it’s your birthday,” Sungjin sheepishly replies, holding the bouquet out to him. 

Younghyun takes the flowers and still sounding breathless, he says, “Sungjin, that’s so sweet! You’re so sweet. Are you really Sungjin? Are you sick? Possessed? Why are you so sweet?”

Furiously blushing, Sungjin ignores that and suddenly remembers one aspect of his little surprise that he forgot to execute.

“I forgot to sing happy birthday to you!” Sungjin exclaims while shaking his head in disappointment at himself.

_Way to go, dumbass. You had one night to be a foolish, gross husband and you mess it up._

“You can sing now!” Younghyun tells him. 

Sungjin sputters for a while, already poised to decline but he realizes that it’s Younghyun’s birthday so he really does not have any right to say no to the birthday boy.

So, Sungjin sings the birthday song, trying so hard to make eye contact with Younghyun as a sign of his action’s sincerity. It is not an easy feat when all Younghyun does is openly stare back while happily grinning at him with his nose wrinkling and his eyes disappearing into little fox-like slits.

“Alright, I guess you make a wish now,” Sungjin says when he finally finishes.

Still unable to wipe the stupid grin on his face, Younghyun closes his eyes and focuses on the things that he wants the most. As he closes his eyes and racks his brain, though, he realizes that he is having trouble coming up with a wish. 

“I think I don’t need to make a wish anymore,” Younghyun says, opening his eyes and staring into Sungjin’s eyes.

Sungjin has known Younghyun for years now and just by looking at him, he can already tell that Younghyun is about to say something really greasy. He wishes Younghyun would not say that but it’s his birthday so Sungjin bites back his sassy remark and merely raises his eyebrows in question. 

“I have everything I want now. I am perfectly happy and content with where I am and who I am with. Sungjin, really, what more can I ever wish for when I’m already married to you?”

The candle is burning itself out now, melted wax cascading down its narrow length onto the chocolate chips on top of the muffin but Sungjin pays it no mind as he looks at Younghyun earnestly.

“Surely, there are things that you want more than marrying me, Younghyun,” Sungjin replies, snorting to hide how giddy that actually made him feel.

“I don’t know about that. I just think I’m living the best life I could ever ask for. You know, I have to either pinch or slap myself at least once a week just to prove to myself that I’m not dreaming,” Younghyun babbles. 

“Younghyun, don’t assault yourself,” Sungjin rolls his eyes at that bit.

Younghyun giggles, “Well, I’ll just blow this candle with a grateful heart then.”

Once he blows it out, he and Sungjin just stand there in silence until Younghyun breaks it.

“Don’t I get a birthday kiss, though? I demand a birthday kiss.” Younghyun is wiggling his eyebrows as he says that. 

Sungjin is glad that it’s dark because he feels his face heat up once again. He retaliates by taking Younghyun by surprise. A quick smooch on the lips from Sungjin effectively makes Younghyun stop wiggling his eyebrows like a weirdo.

“Well, I have to finish packing now. Sweet dreams, birthday boy! See you later! Night, night!”

Totally dumbstruck at what just happened, Younghyun watches Sungjin sprint out of the living room and jog up the stairs. He brings a shaky hand up to his open mouth. He really wants to slap himself again right now to make sure that he isn’t dreaming but Sungjin told him just moments ago not to assault himself. 

So Younghyun refrains himself from slapping or pinching himself and just kind of loses his head in an unidentified mixture of feelings.

* * * 

Their plane arrives at a small town’s humble airport at ten in the morning, they then ride a speed boat which takes them to a private island. They arrive at their final destination just in time for an early lunch. Jae has not spoken a word since they alight the plane, undoubtedly sick from all the travelling that they had to endure. Wonpil is lamenting over his forgotten bunny pool float, while sunshine Dowoon is just happy to drink the complimentary coconut drink the moment they step foot on the driveway of their lodging.

“I don’t know how to swim! This is a disaster,” Wonpil sighs dramatically, stirring his coconut drink with the plastic straw. 

“I’m glad you forgot it, anyway. Bunnies don’t even swim so it just looks dumb,” Sungjin deadpans as he watches Younghyun walking over to middle the receiving area. He and the caretaker are having a conversation in English but Sungjin thinks they’re talking about island community activities or something.

“How dare you! Bunnies _do_ swim,” Wonpil glares at Sungjin but his tone doesn’t even have venom in it. He’s too lost in the refreshing drink. 

Sungjin shrugs, sparing Jae a worried glance. He seems a bit better; at least, he does not look faint and green anymore, so Sungjin decides to join Younghyun and the caretaker. 

“...rooms. We have prepared the master’s bedroom, of course, since we have been made aware that you and your husband just got married. Rose petals, scented candles and a selection of bubble baths; you can also order our special rose champagne—also available in sparkling version. We have aromatherapy massages too, they’re very popular among newlyweds.”

“Is he talking about food?” Sungjin says, tilting his head questioningly. 

Younghyun lets out a startled squeak. Apparently, he didn’t notice that Sungjin joined them about a minute ago. 

“Sungjin,” he breathes out, “don’t sneak up like that!”

“Mr. Sungjin Park?” the caretaker says, giving Sungjin a polite smile. “You must be Mr. Kang’s husband. Welcome to our humble villa!”

“Yeah, I’m his husband,” Sungjin replies, jerking his head sideways to Younghyun as he returns the smile and shakes the caretaker’s hand.

Younghyun feels goosebumps appear on his skin as he hears Sungjin introduce himself as his husband. He doesn’t really know if he wants to scream in happiness or hide his surely blushing face.

_My husband._

“A villa as impressive as this could hardly be referred to as humble,” Younghyun vaguely hears Sungjin saying. 

They are soon escorted to the dining area which has a magnificent view of the white sand beach and the clear baby blue sea. Sungjin notes appreciatively that there seem to be only about ten other guests on the island. They are welcomed with a hearty meal of fresh seafood dishes and refreshing desserts. The caretaker, whose name is José, takes his leave after entrusting them the keys to all the doors in the villa and a sheet of paper where all the attractions and information about the island are written.

“This is so fancy,” Jae declares, already fully recovered from his motion sickness and is now scanning the paper José gave them. “I didn’t know you were going to take us on a private island! Freaking jet skis and banana boats? No minors allowed? A 24-hour bar by the beach?”

He looks up from reading it to stare wide-eyed at Younghyun, “Totally worth the horrendous journey. I think I’ve gone to heaven now.”

“How did you even know about this? I didn’t know an island like this even exists,” Wonpil says, looking equally impressed.

There is a smug look on Younghyun’s face as he chews on a tough piece of lobster but he merely shrugs and simply says, “I have my sources.”

Their friends’ curiosity on how Younghyun knew about the island evaporates as soon as they finish their meal. They momentarily part ways to dump their things in their rooms, agreeing to meet one another at the beach in fifteen minutes to take advantage of the perfect sunny weather. Dowoon and Wonpil share a room while Jae gets his own room next to Sungjin and Younghyun’s. 

“What the…”

Sungjin is gaping as he enters their room while Younghyun scurries off to hide in shame. He attempts to act nonchalant by rolling their conjugal suitcase into the walk-in closet. True to what José had said when they arrived, they indeed prepared the master’s bedroom in a way that just screams it belongs to a newly wedded couple. 

There is a king size in the middle of the carpeted room. On the white sheets, scarlet and pink rose petals are scattered to make a heart-shape. In the middle is a huge bouquet of vibrant flowers in a straw basket. Leaning against it is a card decorated with tiny hearts where ‘Have a Romantic Honeymoon’ is written in a red flirty font. Sungjin tries to ignore the assortment of adult… _stuff_ by the bedside table but it proves impossible once he realizes that they come in flavored variations ( _‘Why in the world do they have to be flavored? Is that even safe?’_ Sungjin thinks). The room smells heavily of what Sungjin could assume is a piña-colada scented candle; it’s a bit artificial but not unpleasant.

Getting over the shocking amount of reds and hearts and red hearts that he has seen, Sungjin clears his throat to regard Younghyun with a smirk. Younghyun side-eyes him, continuing his pretense of being too preoccupied to mind the flashy decorations. 

“José and the staff sure are thoughtful romantics, huh?” Sungjin finally says when Younghyun remains relentless on his little charade.

“Sorry!” Younghyun squeaks when he decides that he can no longer keep up his act. 

Amused, Sungjin watches him walk over to the bedside table and snatch the box of adult stuff, “When I called to make a reservation, I casually mentioned that we just got married. They asked me if I would want to have something special in the room when we arrive and I said yes, but I didn’t know they would be this serious about it!”

Blushing profusely, Younghyun hides the adult stuff in the drawer before turning to face Sungjin, looking a little anxious. 

“You can go ahead to the beach. I’ll just clear all of this up,” he says. 

“It’s okay, Younghyun,” Sungjin says, chuckling at the look on Younghyun’s face. 

“You’re not mad? Disgusted? Uncomfortable?” Younghyun says in one breath. 

“I don’t mind,” Sungjin assures him. “It’s a sweet gesture. But I must admit that it’s a bit funny.”

Younghyun lets out the breath that he unknowingly held in, his heartbeat gradually slowing down again. He stares at Sungjin, scrutinizing his face for any sign of discomfort or any give away that he finds the set up revolting. He finds none. Sungjin is merely looking around the room, his face bright and glowing warmly as the summer sun shines upon it.

First, Younghyun was able to hug Sungjin without being pushed away. Sungjin actually hugged him back and they stayed like that for a good five minutes before Younghyun was forced to let go because he felt Sungjin squirm a bit. Oh, and how could he forget the kisses that they shared so far? Sure, they were quick and innocent but they still happened, still had the ability to turn Younghyun’s world upside down.

What is going on?

“The others will start to wonder what’s taking us so long,” Younghyun says, shaking his head in an attempt to vanish his confused thoughts.

He manages to fish out the sunscreen from their bag and grab his sunglasses, ready to step out of their room. Sungjin, however, remains rooted to his spot by the attached balcony. His back is on Younghyun and is not showing any sign that he heard what’s been said just now, so Younghyun decides to stand next to him to get his attention. 

“Sungjin,” Younghyun says, “let’s go. They’re going to start—”

“I heard you the first time,” Sungjin cuts him off. “And so what? They’re our friends, Younghyun. Why are you worrying what they will think?”

Younghyun blinks at that but answers honestly, nonetheless, “I don’t just don’t want to let their imagination run wild. You know, Dowoon already thinks we’re sleeping together.”

For the first time since they got on this island, Sungjin reacts how he usually does— like the Sungjin that Younghyun knows and is used to. 

“He does?!” Sungjin splutters, cheeks tinting pink and eyes widening comically.

“Yes, so if you’re done staring dreamily out the balcony, let’s go meet them at the beach before he starts feeding Jae and Wonpil’s imagination as well,” Younghyun says. It’s now his turn to chortle at Sungjin’s expression of pure mortification. 

Despite himself, Sungjin clears his throat and, with his chest puffed out a bit, he says in a defiant tone, “Again, so what? We’re married. That’s what married people do. That’s what we’ll do too. Eventually. Someday.”

Younghyun is rendered speechless, he stupidly gawks at Sungjin. 

Sungjin continues to speak as if he still hasn’t done enough damage to Younghyun’s sanity yet, “I see no reason why we should be acting any different from any other normal married couple.” 

At that, Younghyun regains his senses and, realizing that he somehow has to put his foot down at some point, he waspishly says, “Okay, you know we’re not a normal couple, Sungjin.”

It’s easy to lose his head amidst all the lovely progress their relationship has been making. For weeks, Younghyun knows that is what he has been doing but he is far too euphoric to mind the not so nice thoughts lurking at the back of his mind. But right now, the pessimistic yet sensible part of Younghyun, the one that still remembers how many times Sungjin had rejected him before, rears its head to prudently warn him that things are often too good to be true.

Genuine feelings do not, after all, magically appear just because they are no longer labelled as _‘just friends’_.

“You’re not in love with me and we both know that. Whatever it is that you’re playing at, Sungjin, please stop it. Let’s go.”

* * * 

The rest of the afternoon is spent frisking about the baby blue ocean and rolling around the white sand of the beach with Jae, Wonpil and Dowoon. As soon as they arrive at the beach, Jae, Younghyun and Dowoon decide to ride the banana boat while Sungjin and Wonpil go for the jet skis. Deeming that it is never too early to start getting wasted during a vacation, they start ordering cocktails at two and by the time that the sun is turning a beautiful shade of marigold, Dowoon is claiming that he can walk on water like Jesus. Whether Wonpil is still sad about his forgotten bunny pool float or not, nobody knows. All Sungjin knows is that Wonpil looks far too happy for his own good as he follows Dowoon around, asking him to teach him how to walk on water too.

“You just have to concentrate really hard! It’s not that difficult!” Sungjin could hear Dowoon saying over the crashing waves and Wonpil’s manic cackling.

Jae is the most sunburnt among them and his blond hair looks fried, but judging the way he is still behaving well and sitting by the shore with Sungjin instead of acting silly with the other two, it is safe to say that he is still decently sober.

“Why does Younghyun look like his pet dog just died? And he doesn’t even have a pet dog,” Jae suddenly says as he shakes salt out of his hair like a puppy. 

Accusingly, Jae follows up with, “What did you do, Sungjin?”

“I didn’t do anything bad!” Sungjin says at once. “At least, not that I’m aware of.”

Like them, Younghyun is lounging by the shore but he had pointedly set a good few meters of distance between him and the other two. He has his earphones in and his sunglasses on as he watches Wonpil and Dowoon make fools out of themselves. With the way Younghyun’s mouth is pursed into a small pout and his eyebrows are knitted together almost as one, it is clear to anyone who sees him that he’s brooding. 

When he and Sungjin arrived at the beach earlier, he had done such a good job of pretending that everything was just peachy. He was even talking and laughing like he did not just snap at Sungjin moments ago. The more Wonpil and Dowoon’s sobriety slipped away, though, the less he tried to hide his sour mood too. 

And now, Younghyun isn’t even trying anymore so Jae inevitably notices that things are not peachy at all.

“What did you do?” Jae repeats, still sounding accusatory. 

“If I know what I did wrong, I would’ve already apologized to him. You know, I hate it when he is upset,” Sungjin admits, absentmindedly kicking sand when he steals a glance at Younghyun who stubbornly continues to refuse to meet his eyes.

“For someone who hates him being upset, you sure did a great deal of upsetting him yourself when you repeatedly rejected—”

“Which is why I don’t understand why he seems to be mad at me because I was trying to act like we’re a normal married couple,” Sungjin hisses, throwing cautious looks at Younghyun.

“Oh,” Jae says, realization dawning upon his boyish features. “Now I understand.”

Sungjin frowns, not liking the way Jae is smirking as if he possesses a far more superior understanding of Younghyun than Sungjin. He doesn’t like that at all.

“You’ve been his best friend for years. I would’ve thought you would know by now how sensitive Younghyun can be sometimes,” Jae says, igniting Sungjin’s already incensed mood.

“Well, then, enlighten this poor pathetic mortal!” Sungjin demands, his voice unintentionally getting a bit louder.

“You were obviously acting too out of character, so he probably thought you were being insincere.”

That does not help quell Sungjin’s irritation. “He didn’t seem to have a problem when we were back home. He loved everything I did for him! Everything was fine, then he suddenly decided that I’m not trustworthy? I really don’t understand.”

“You’re in no position to be annoyed, you know,” Jae says, giving Sungjin a reproachful look as he shakes more salt out of his hair. “I mean, you can’t really blame Younghyun. You’ve made it pretty clear to him—and to everyone, really—that you had no intention of ever reciprocating his feelings.

He still hoped, anyway; he grasped at every bit of affection you gave him even though you didn’t mean for them to be taken _that_ way. He was like an idiot waiting for a horse to suddenly sprout a golden unicorn horn out of its forehead. But even blissfully ignorant and impossibly stubborn idiots get unwanted doses of bitter reality every once in a while. You’re not in love with him and he knows it. You married him because you don’t want to be poor—don’t you deny it because you know it’s true—” Jae firmly says when Sungjin opens his mouth to protest “—and that secretly bothers him a lot. No matter how fairytale-like all of this is, he will be disillusioned one way or another. Maybe today he was pushed off the edge by whatever it is that you did.”

Ignoring the bit about the golden unicorn horn, Sungjin reflects on Jae’s words. Honestly, he still cannot fully grasp why Younghyun got mad but he thinks he has a pretty clear idea now.

“Well, he’s being stupid,” Sungjin concludes after a moment. “I was just trying to make an effort. How can that push him off the edge? Is it wrong to try?”

“No, it’s not.”

Sungjin and Jae both whip their heads up, startled at the sound of Younghyun’s voice suddenly coming from above them. Towering over their sitting forms is Younghyun. His mood is still not the best but at least he does not look grumpy anymore. He just looks sad and Sungjin feels his stomach clenching in guilt.

“Well, I think those two imbeciles have been in the sun for far too long already. I ought to retrieve them this instant. Later, gentlemen!”

With that, Jae successfully wriggles his way out of the conversation and leaves Sungjin and Younghyun alone. Younghyun plops down next to Sungjin and gives him a piercing look. No, it’s not accusing or angry, he simply looks like he is trying to discern Sungjin’s thoughts. 

Younghyun opens his mouth to say sorry but Sungjin beats him to it.

“I’m sorry, Younghyun,” Sungjin blurts out. “Whatever it is that I did to make you think I’m not being genuine with you. I just hope that next time you tell me what exactly I did wrong so I can apologize right away and see how I can make things right again.”

“You didn’t do anything, Sungjin. It’s me. You’re right, I was just being stupid. And I was also being paranoid,” Younghyun sighs, looking down as he pretends to focus on burying his fist in the sand just so he has an excuse not to look at Sungjin.

“No, you’re not being stupid, Younghyun,” Sungjin says but the other shakes his head in disagreement. 

“It’s okay. I know I was being stupid. I should not be doubting you.”

Silence issues between them but Younghyun does not want to risk sparing a glance at Sungjin. This, however, gives Sungjin a chance to actually take into consideration Jae’s words in relation to what Younghyun just said.

“We’re supposed to be relaxing and having fun during this trip. Look at me stressing you out, totally spoiling your only time away from the office. I’m sorry,” Younghyun says.

“You don’t have to say sorry at all, Younghyun. I understand perfectly how my actions could solicit that kind of reaction from you,” Sungjin finally speaks, leaning in in an attempt to make Younghyun look at him. 

Younghyun gives in, allowing his eyes to meet Sungjin’s. In the background, the waves are still crashing, Wonpil is still laughing very loudly and Jae is nagging at them. The sun is starting to sink into the horizon and the sunset must look impressive right now but Younghyun could not bring himself to look away from Sungjin. 

“Just because I’m making efforts now, does not mean I can just erase how much I’ve hurt you in the past. Assuming I could make up for that so easily could probably be considered as an insult. You’re not stupid at all and your paranoia is not exactly baseless. I gave you a solid reason to feel uneasy with how...soft...I’ve been acting recently.”

Even though the talk that they are having can be considered serious and deep, Younghyun cannot help the little laugh that spills out of his mouth when Sungjin describes his actions as ‘soft’. Never in his life did it ever occur to him that Sungjin would use that word to describe something even remotely related to himself.

“I understand now, it’s a process. I respect that,” Sungjin continues. “I guess you got thrown off by my comment about sleeping together? I’m sorry. If you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, you can tell me. I—”

“I don’t really mind,” Younghyun quickly interjects. “I’m...I don’t shy away from such activities. I’m open for everything.”

Sungjin just owlishly blinks at him so Younghyun helpfully adds, “Just throwing it out there. Might be useful for you to know. In case it interests you...in case you’d want to...”

“O...kay?” Sungjin drawls out, blushing. “Thanks for the info.”

Their three friends are now playing in the water. Jae and Dowoon can be seen slowly swinging Wonpil while holding him by his limbs before they unceremoniously throw him in the water. Sungjin’s heart sinks in apprehension, remembering that Wonpil doesn’t know how to swim but soon enough, Wonpil emerges, alive and well. He starts to chase after Jae and Dowoon, looking vengeful.

The scene effectively allows Sungjin to recover from Younghyun’s last statement. He finally remembers the last and most important thing that he wants to tell Younghyun. Something that he hopes could ease Younghyun’s qualms about where their relationship truly stands.

“Younghyun,” Sungjin begins.

Younghyun averts his eyes away from the amusing sight of Wonpil trying to throw Jae off balance by jumping on his back and clinging like a monkey. When Younghyun looks at him, Sungjin’s brain slightly short-circuits. 

Right here on this picturesque island, with dusk slowly waning the light coming from the sun, feeble pink and yellow streaks are kissing every part of Younghyun’s face: his eyelashes, those sharp yet expressive eyes, his straight nose and those cute lips. 

Younghyun is beautiful. 

It’s so easy to get lost and let his mind wander away from the matter at hand. But Sungjin firmly holds onto what’s left of his concentration. He really needs to tell this to Younghyun.

“I’m trying. I really am,” Sungjin says and Younghyun listens earnestly. “Not because I’m forced to or because I have no choice. Well, perhaps in the beginning, I was trying because I had no other choice. It was you or bankruptcy. 

Somehow, I don’t know when exactly, but you’ve managed to soften me up. With all the love and care and faith you’ve given me, I just woke up one day realizing I’m no longer trying just because I have no choice, but because I _want_ to. Trying to give you a happy marriage with me is a choice I’ve made out of my own free will, because I want to and because I finally realized that you’re someone I’m willing to let in.

I do not usually let my thoughts out in the open. I find it hard to express my feelings. I honestly do not know how to, so I’m sorry if my actions make you sad or paranoid. I just do whatever I think could make you happy. I know I still have a lot to learn. But I want you to know one thing, Younghyun. All this, everything I’ve been showing you, they are real and sincere. I just want you to be happy. I want _us_ to be happy together.”

By now, the sun has completely departed and their friends have gone somewhere else to give the couple their space.

There is a curious sensation in Younghyun’s chest, the muscles there constricting and restricting his breathing but the strangest thing about it is he does not feel like he will pass out or die from the lack of air. Instead, he feels like he is on the verge of bursting then being reborn as the happiest man in the universe. 

Words are terribly failing him. He cannot find the right ones to string together to form a sentence that would sufficiently convey to Sungjin how happy he is making him feel at that moment. So he simply holds Sungjin’s face in his hand. With his thumb, he brushes Sungjin’s hair away from his eyes and leans closer.

Younghyun hesitates a second longer, looking at Sungjin’s lips, wondering if it is tangible and if he can really kiss it.

Sungjin answers the silent question by meeting him halfway.

Illuminated by the dull glow of the distant clubhouse lights, Sungjin is kissing Younghyun fiercely, wanting nothing but to express everything he’s feeling. True to what he said earlier, Younghyun does not shy away. He kisses back with equal fervor, his fingers weaving through Sungjin’s dark hair. 

They break apart only when Younghyun pulls Sungjin up by the hand. He wordlessly leads him back to the villa where they quickly lock themselves in their shared room. With the promise of getting to know each other deeper in the most intimate way, thoughts about dinner and their friends are forgotten.

That night, Sungjin does not only discover how he can make Younghyun’s mouth produce the most beautiful sounds or how high his voice can go, but he also discovers why those adult stuff by the bedside table are flavored.

* * * 

The morning after is not nearly as awkward as Younghyun had initially thought. Sungjin is an awkward person so he really expected that there would be a period of avoidance but there simply isn’t any of that.

When Sungjin, freshly showered and towel-drying his hair, saunters out of the bathroom, he smiles upon seeing that Younghyun is already awake. Sungjin sits at the edge of their bed, looking cheerful.

“Slept well, I suppose?” is his conversation starter and Younghyun suddenly feels proud when he sees a fraction of something purple peeking over the neckline of Sungjin’s pastel yellow shirt. 

It’s one of his mouth’s many creations. A souvenir, a proof that last night truly happened.

“Like a baby,” Younghyun replies, pulling himself up in a sitting position so he could affectionately rest his head on Sungjin’s shoulder. 

“That’s disturbing. You were no baby last night,” Sungjin retorts, earning a well-aimed slap on the chest from Younghyun.

“I’m taking a shower,” Younghyun declares, gathering up the duvet around his bare body and bringing it along with him as he walks to the bathroom.

Just because Sungjin is being surprisingly not awkward about it, does not mean that Younghyun could expect their friends to do the same. Alright, their friends are not being awkward at all. In fact, they are being extremely shameless about it. 

When Sungjin and Younghyun turn up together for breakfast, Jae, who is obviously in the middle of telling a very detailed anecdote, immediately shuts up. This gives off the feeling that he had just been talking about them. 

Their suspicions are confirmed when Wonpil smirks and Dowoon is looking at Younghyun knowingly the moment they take their seats.

“So…” Wonpil begins, lacing his fingers together as he leans on the table. “You guys must be really hungry right now.”

“Are you implying something?” Sungjin says, narrowing his eyes at the toast that he is buttering.

“Me? Implying something? I would never!” Wonpil fake gasps in feigned surprise.

“It’s just that you guys skipped dinner,” Dowoon says, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

“Unless you guys did _something else_ for you to be really hungry now?” Jae pipes up and when he finishes speaking, he has the audacity to cover his mouth in fake surprise.

Younghyun rolls his eyes. He really is hungry right now and he wishes his friends would stop acting like immature 12-year-olds so he could focus on devouring the omelette.

“Jae said it sounded like elephants were stampeding on the other side of his room’s wall,” Dowoon says matter-of-factly as Wonpil makes disgusted gagging sounds. 

Sungjin is helplessly mortified, buttered toast falling on his plate with a muffled clatter. 

“Yes,” Jae confirms. “And at some point, I was honestly concerned. I thought Younghyun was dying. He kept crying out that he felt like he was going to die because Sungjin—”

“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!” Younghyun explodes, face as red as the cherry tomatoes on the table. “Stop it.”

At that, Jae leans back on his chair with his arms crossed, looking satisfied for some reason. 

“If you don’t want me blabbing about your nightly activities, keep it down. I had to sleep in Wonpil and Dowoon’s room because there was just absolutely no way I was going to fall asleep with that. You guys were so loud, it felt like you were next to me!” Jae complains.

“Ew,” Wonpil winces.

“Okay, stop it,” Sungjin implores, deciding to intervene when he sees that Younghyun looks like he would turn neon red from embarrassment. “We’re sorry about that, Jae. We’ll be more considerate later.”

There have been more teasing and mentions of what had happened last night all throughout the day but by noon, Sungjin and Younghyun have become desensitized by it. They opt to just laugh along with their friends and attempt to tease them back. 

Their last day on the private island has been nothing but enjoyable. They eat a lot, drink a lot and play a lot until they are certain that they would all be returning to Seoul with their skin at least two shades darker than it had been when they left.

When night falls and they all retire to bed, Jae does not know if the married couple have kept their promise of toning down their nightly activities. He does not allow himself to find out and wisely sleeps in Wonpil and Dowoon’s room which is on the other side of the villa. One traumatizing night is enough.

* * * 

Their weekend getaway in the tropical paradise has come to an end. Sungjin, Younghyun, Jae, Wonpil and Dowoon are reluctant to return to the harsh winter in their home country but as José helps them load their belongings on the speed boat, they make a promise to return in June. Their time here has been nothing but pure bliss. They made memories that would be remembered for a very long time.

For Sungjin and Younghyun, coming here has helped them overcome a significant hurdle in their relationship. They are leaving feeling happier about their marriage than ever, bringing along with them the more intimate bond that they now share. Far from being paranoid, Younghyun is looking forward to experiencing this hidden side of Sungjin that he has managed to unlock.

“Mother?”

Hearing Sungjin say that, Younghyun looks around in bewilderment. Sungjin lets his hand go and Younghyun watches him walk over to a small group of people who just arrived on another speed boat.

“What are you doing here? Is father coming too?” Sungjin says to someone hidden behind his broad figure. 

Curiosity getting the best of him, Younghyun follows his husband and to his astonishment, Park Haera, Sungjin’s mother, is indeed standing there. Behind her are two other women around her age and two men who also seem to be around her age. 

“Uncle Changho, you’re also here?” Sungjin asks one of the men.

Sungjin stares from Changho to Haera, eyebrows knitting together as he waits for any of them to answer the questions he just asked them. He could be imagining it, but Younghyun thinks that his mother-in-law looks shocked upon bumping into them here.

The man, Changho, is tall and muscular. He glances at Haera sideways before grinning at Sungjin. 

“Sungjin! We didn’t think that we’ll bump into anyone we know here but what a pleasant surprise! Did you and your husband just arrive too?” Changho says, nodding at Younghyun genially.

Younghyun returns the nod with a small smile of his own but he feels a bit uneasy with the way Sungjin seems to be sizing up Changho before answering, “No, Younghyun and I were just leaving actually…”

“Is father coming too?” Sungjin presses on when he turns his attention back on Haera and Younghyun is a little relieved when he hears that his tone seems casual. 

“Your father is not coming, Sungjin,” Haera says, finally finding her voice again. “These are my friends from high school and we are having a little get together just before Christmas. More of my friends will be coming later.”

Haera then turns to Younghyun, beaming. “I didn’t know that you will be visiting this place so soon, dear. I thought you went somewhere else for your weekend trip.”

“The pictures you showed were very inviting, Auntie Haera, and I thought a place like this is just what Sungjin needs. I can definitely understand why you are a regular here!” Younghyun explains. 

Indeed, he had chosen this place on Haera’s recommendation. 

“You come here often, mother?” Sungjin questions, his frown getting deeper. 

But even before Haera could answer that, they hear Wonpil calling them. They turn around and see him beckoning and gesturing to his watch.

“You kids better get going now. You might miss your flight,” Haera says.

They say their goodbyes, Haera kissing both of them on the cheeks before they get on the speedboat. They sail back to the airport with Sungjin being more subdued than he had been before their encounter with Haera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Apologies for the late update. My country is trying to ease back into normalcy which means I am already going to work on certain days of the week. Hence, less time to write :( I hoped I could finish this story before the lockdown was lifted but I didn't, so unfortunately, the remaining updates will be written at a slower pace. You might also notice that I keep adding to the final chapter count of this fic. This story has grown its own brain and is just out of control by now 😅 It's longer than I expected. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading this monstrous chapter (it was a pain to edit). Your comments and kudos in the previous chapter were greatly appreciated~


	6. when the roof gives in, water rushes in

The ADS online mall has proven to be a great success. The website survived the influx of orders from last-minute shoppers and crazy boxing day sales. Parcels have arrived on time on their doorsteps, intact and their contents complete. As a result, Park and Co. is quickly earning back its merits. They are turning over a new leaf and getting gleaming five-star reviews from satisfied customers who were deeply delighted that they received their items earlier than they initially expected given that the Holiday rush seems to be overwhelming every other shipping company.

January, for some reason, seems to drag on in comparison to the last two months of the previous year. Perhaps it is due to the simple fact that they are no longer preoccupied with the launch. In spite this, however, Sungjin is still as restless as ever. He is not allowed to relax just yet because he is no longer in the comforts of Park and Co., no longer under the care of his own father, but rather, he is now working directly under his father-in-law at ADS. 

It was two days into the new year when Sungjin settled in his new office space. His current office is bigger than what he was accustomed to back at the Park and Co. building, but then again, the building of ADS is much taller and more modern. It is a giant in the retail industry, after all.

There are only two office spaces located at the topmost floor of the building: Kang Hodong’s office and the one that had sat empty since the building was built some seven years ago. Sungjin has been occupying that empty office for two weeks now and on his desk sits a heavy block of white marble where his title is carved on: SUNGJIN PARK, Chief Operating Officer.

Younghyun had been in his office on several occasions, mostly to keep him company on the nights he had to work late and partially to judge his father’s choice of decor.

“That name plaque of yours looks like a headstone,” Younghyun had distastefully said when he spotted it the first time.

Sungjin laughed at that then but defensively said that he liked it. Now, everytime Sungjin sees the name plaque, he remembers Younghyun’s facial expression and smiles to himself.

At the moment, Sungjin’s relationship with Younghyun is probably the brightest aspect of his existence. They have settled into a routine that gives them a sense of much needed stability and comfort amidst the chaotic lives they lead at their respective workplaces. 

Sungjin, with his ongoing feat to prove himself worthy of becoming the COO of a gigantic corporation, looks forward to home-cooked meals and quiet evenings in front of the TV which taste strongly of chamomile tea on Younghyun’s lips. On the other hand, Younghyun, whose students seem to be getting more and more restless, cheeky and disobedient as the school term progresses, finds sanctuary in the warmth of Sungjin’s broad chest, his patience in listening to Younghyun’s rants and his wise words of encouragement. Younghyun almost never brings his car to work anymore because Sungjin usually drops him off on the way to ADS, then picks him up when his classes are over. 

They are closer than ever, whether it is emotionally or physically. Following their wonderful weekend trip at the private island, Sungjin asked Younghyun to just sleep with him in his room. 

“I do not see the point of sleeping in separate rooms. I’ve seen everything now...we’ve done everything, too,” Sungjin had said and Younghyun agreed in a heartbeat.

Younghyun is not sure if it is because Sungjin’s bed is just of higher quality or because of Sungjin’s mere presence next to him, but he has been sleeping so much better ever since. Now, the guest room that has momentarily served as Younghyun’s room sits empty and instead of leaving it like that to collect dust, Sungjin suggests for Younghyun to just set up the home studio he wants in there.

Today is Friday. Sungjin is set to pick Younghyun up from the school, after which, they will drive to Younghyun’s old apartment to get the rest of his instruments. Sungjin unconsciously smiles to himself upon remembering how excited Younghyun is that he will finally be reunited with his favorite bass, Goldie. Younghyun said that he will make pasta for dinner tonight before they start setting up the studio. The thought makes Sungjin’s stomach growl longingly for food. 

But right now, Sungjin has to endure at least half an hour more of an important board meeting. 

Kang Hodong is sitting at the head of the long wooden table. From his place at Hodong’s right, Sungjin can recognize all the faces of the board members since they all have been previously introduced to Sungjin either in the launch preparations meeting or at the launch party itself. All of their faces are lined, mouths thin and hair gray with age. Sungjin is the youngest person here and he is at least twenty years younger than all of these people’s average age. Although they commend the success of the launch and majority seem to approve of his delegation as the head of the online malls project, Sungjin can tell that there is an unpleasant and a very tangible tension between these people and Hodong since Sungjin was appointed as COO.

Of course, that they are doubting Sungjin’s capability to handle such a senior position due to his age is a dead giveaway. That reason had been used far too many times against him by Park and Co.’s own board of directors that Sungjin could no longer find it in himself to be bothered by it. After all, adults seemed to have made it into a habit to insult his abilities just because he is young. Of course, in the end, they would always be proven wrong. 

Nonetheless, Sungjin could clearly see that their mistrust is being aggravated by a certain rumor, the rumor in which that rude reporter from the launch has breathed life into. According to the article he penned shortly after the launch party, Park Sungjin is the most likely choice of Kang Hodong to succeed him as the CEO of ADS. Of course, the reporter provided zero reliable source for this statement other than his twisted account of what Sungjin had said to him after asking that bloody question that caused him and Younghyun to ditch the launch party. He re-worded it in a manner in which people would have no choice but to think Sungjin is convinced that the position would certainly fall on his expectant lap.

ADS board members had been mostly cordial, even mentor-like, with Sungjin before this article came out, so when he had received a cold shoulder from a particularly pleasant member of the board, he knew that the article had done what he and Younghyun had feared: create enmity between the board members and Sungjin. Since then, the board members seem to view their meetings as an avenue to throw the pettiest criticisms at Sungjin’s obviously effective leadership on the online mall project. Most fortunately, Kang Hodong still wields the most power among them and would always be quick to shut them down.

Most unfortunately, however, Hodong’s favorable attitude towards Sungjin seems to just further prove to them that he is indeed the most likely to succeed Hodong as CEO when the time comes. In effect, this caused the board members to not only feel threatened by Sungjin, but also resentfully accuse Hodong of nepotism.

It has been made clear during the numerous meetings that the board members think that there are people among them who they find far more fitting to be the future CEO than Sungjin; people who have dedicated their lives working for ADS and have assured its current revered position in the industry. Sungjin agrees wholeheartedly with them on this. In fact, he often finds himself feeling the same resentment that the board members feel towards Hodong. Perhaps, even more so whenever he remembers that he never wanted any of this. All he wanted was to save Park and Co. but he got way more than he bargained for and he cannot really say that he got a fair deal. Of course, it is undeniable that wonderful things did come out of the deal, having Younghyun as his husband being the best among them, but there are just days when the pressure gets the better of him and makes him feel that he made the wrong decision.

“You seem to have a lot on your mind.”

Younghyun’s melodious deep voice penetrates through his raging sea of thoughts and, after spacing out for quite a while, mind lingering on the events in the conference room, Sungjin feels a bit disoriented to find himself already sitting on the tiny couch in Younghyun’s old apartment. They are in the middle of collecting most of Younghyun’s musical equipment. The sun is barely setting but the place is already bathed in semi-darkness due to the lack of windows. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He looks around in time to see Younghyun already walking over to him with his beloved Goldie clutched in one hand while the other is holding the protective case. Sungjin stays silent until Younghyun occupies the cramped space next to him so that they are sitting with their shoulders, arms and thighs touching.

“It’s nothing. Just had a long day,” Sungjin says, looking around to find an excuse to dodge the subject. He finds none so Younghyun rallies on after gingerly sliding Goldie in the case. 

“Look at you shutting me out again,” Younghyun clicks his tongue, but his face does not look annoyed. He is simply giving Sungjin a worried smile. “You know I can tell when you’re bothered by something so there’s no point in denying.”

Sungjin appreciates the comfort Younghyun provides as he rests his chin on Sungjin’s shoulder. He looks sideways and feels a certain warmth in his chest upon seeing the way Younghyun is patiently watching him through his delicate eyelashes.

“Is it the board members again? You had another meeting today, right?” Younghyun quietly asks. 

There really is no point in avoiding the subject. Younghyun could read him like an open book so Sungjin admits, “Yes.”

“What did they say this time?” Younghyun sighs, lacing their fingers together so that he has a firm but consoling grip on Sungjin’s hand. 

“Oh, the usual. But since the holidays are over, they’re saying that the online malls will not be earning as much so they told me I need to think of a way to maintain the current sales.”

Younghyun makes an irritated face, turning slightly pink as he splutters, “Are they dumb? Of course, the sales are bound to decrease during lean season. That’s just how things are! I know I didn’t really apply my business degree and I probably forgot 90% of the shit we studied, but surely, it wouldn’t be that much of a loss, right? ADS will be fine. It’s going to be Valentine's Day in a month, they can hoard all the profit by then!”

“Yes, you’re right,” Sungjin chuckles, finding Younghyun’s little outburst adorable. “I’m not that worried about ADS because, like what you said, it will survive. But I still have to keep doing whatever they want, so they would not be able to find anything to criticize. I don’t know...I just feel really uneasy because they seem to be getting desperate to poke a hole in my reputation.”

“They’re looking for excuses to discredit you,” Younghyun nods, easily following Sungjin’s train of thoughts.

“Which is why I am always on edge these days. It’s like toeing on a really fine and fragile line. If anything goes wrong, I am sure they will find a way to blame it on me,” Sungjin says.

He inhales, his emotions are raging, forcing his mouth to voice out the anxious thoughts that have been infesting his mind for a while now. He initially did not want to dump all of this negativity on Younghyun because he had been so excited about moving his musical instruments to Sungjin’s house. Sungjin did not want to dampen his mood too.

“I’m sorry. My worries are petty. I’m sure I’ll be fine after having one full meal. It’s unnecessary to be bothering you with all this,” Sungjin says, rubbing his face with his hand. 

“Hey,” Younghyun whispers, gently holding onto Sungjin’s wrist to stop him from rubbing his face raw. “No worry of yours is petty for me, okay? I _want_ to worry with you.”

Sungjin stares at Younghyun, still looking as if he regrets that he let slip way too many woes but Younghyun shakes his head and kisses Sungjin. As soon as their lips meet, he instantly feels better. It’s like having poison sucked out of his bloodstream. 

How he managed to go through his life without Younghyun’s kisses is the biggest mystery of Sungjin’s life.

In half an hour, all of Younghyun’s musical instruments are packed and placed in the trunk and in the backseat of Sungjin’s black Audi. Younghyun, however, is still holding onto Goldie as he takes his place on the passenger seat. He settles Goldie between his legs, fondly looking at it and feeling happy that he is finally reunited with his beloved instruments. Before Sungjin turns the engine on, the offensively loud growling of his stomach breaks the silence, inducing a hysteric fit of laughter from a startled Younghyun.

“Oh, shut up,” Sungjin chastises him but he is also trying hard to hold back his own laughter as they start their journey home.

“Hearing how hungry you are, I think I should cook two packs of that instant pasta. Maybe even three. I think we still have strip loins in the freezer and I might even manage to scrape up a decent dessert if I scavenge hard enough in the fridge,” Younghyun muses, finger wandering over to the car stereo dials to connect his phone.

“That sounds great,” Sungjin comments, maneuvering the car towards the highway. 

Finally selecting a particularly cheery song, Younghyun bops his head in time with the tune. Sungjin cannot help but smile as he watches Younghyun from the corner of his eye, singing along and bouncing on his seat. 

“I’ll come up with a small feast,” Younghyun chirps when the song comes to an end. He then turns to touch Sungjin’s right hand which is idly resting atop his thigh as they slowly inch through some traffic. “You obviously had a nasty day with those crusty, old bats.”

The pasta is exquisite, so are the strip loins and the marbled potatoes. Younghyun even made patbingsu with the limited ingredients in their fridge. When they finally make it to the guest room, ready to arrange it to become Younghyun’s personal music studio, Sungjin is feeling a bit lethargic. He can barely remember the dreadful board meeting; it feels like a lifetime ago thanks to Younghyun’s superior cooking skills. Sungjin thinks he has fallen deeper for Younghyun and he hates himself for thinking something as cheesy as that but an ordinary man like him is powerless in the face of great food. 

“This is the special microfiber cloth that I use to wipe dust off my precious babies. When I used generic rugs, some weird, shallow scratches appeared on their surface,” Younghyun says, giving Sungjin a small rectangular rag that feels fancy to the touch. “You dust my instruments while I re-assemble the stands...I need to make sure they’re done correctly so they won’t collapse or something.”

“M’kay,” Sungjin hums. 

“This is Tyson,” Younghyun says, handing Sungjin a black and white bass guitar.

With a nod, Sungjin plops down on the floor letting out a strangled groan, arm stretched up to keep Tyson from colliding with the floor. Younghyun looks over in slight concern.

“Please don’t be clumsy and bang my instruments against things,” Younghyun says. 

“Wow, I thought you were concerned about me,” Sungjin says, feigning hurt as he rolls his eyes. 

Younghyun chortles, shaking his head fondly, “Stiffness of limbs comes with old age. It’s hardly a cause for concern.”

“Excuse me,” Sungjin sputters, looking scandalized, “I am just eleven _months_ older than you.”

“I know, old man,” Younghyun cheekily replies, winking at him before busying himself with putting together a guitar stand.

“‘Stiffness of limbs’,” Sungjin mumbles grumpily. “You’ll see what is really stiff later. You won’t be able to walk straight for days after my stiff limb is done with you, then we’ll see who’ll be calling who an old man.”

“Gross,” Younghyun sticks out his tongue, pretending to be disgusted even though his interest has been successfully piqued by that.

Now that he managed to partially pull Sungjin out of his shell and the bridge of intimacy had been crossed, they have slept together multiple times. Younghyun is delighted upon discovering that Sungjin is unabashedly vocal about sex. He is pretty straightforward, knows exactly what he wants and how to get it, he is highly adept in knowing what Younghyun wants and gives it to him abundantly.

Younghyun gasps when he suddenly feels hot breath on his nape followed by thick fingers gripping his hips from behind.

“I see you’re spacing out,” Sungjin says in a low voice, his hands pulling Younghyun’s hips flush against his crotch. “Mind already wandering up to the bedroom?”

“Oh yes, and to the things you’ll do to me,” Younghyun valiantly admits, turning his head just enough for his lips to teasingly hover at the corner of Sungjin’s mouth.

Sungjin’s eyes flash darkly, he turns Younghyun around and firmly pins him against the wall. Younghyun winds his arms around Sungjin’s shoulders, eyes sparkling as he unblinkingly stares at Sungjin, sending him an unspoken invitation. His breath hitches when Sungjin crashes their lips together in a very messy and a very open-mouthed kiss. They push and pull, tug and bite, blindly ambling around the room with no clear direction. Sungjin inevitably collides with Tyson which has been resting against a wall. The bass topples over and lands on the floor with a loud clatter. Tyson is fine but Younghyun decides that they should take the action upstairs before they do any serious damage to his beloved instruments.

* * * 

The days of the week pass by in a blur without a hitch. Although the ADS board members have regularly shown up at the building, they do nothing more than to prowl the halls, merely looking down their snobby, upturned noses in an attempt to find out what Sungjin is up to without drawing too much attention to themselves. While Younghyun thinks that they are acting a bit alarming, Sungjin just finds the whole thing a lot silly and a bit absurd. They have not said a single word to him, anyway, so he is grateful for the peace and quiet which in turn, allows him to think clearly.

Owing to their mounting homework in other subjects, Younghyun’s students have become more manageable these days. They are less likely to gossip with their seatmates now that their lessons require them to finally fiddle with the instruments in the music room. They are learning how to play simple trot songs and even though music class time can be quite noisy and headache inducing, Younghyun feels a sense of contentment whenever he sees that the kids are actually enjoying themselves. With a portion of his burden lifted off his shoulder, Younghyun is generally in a better mood these days. In fact, he is in too good of a mood that he enrolls Sungjin and himself to this Weekend Baking Classes for Couples.

“A what?” Sungjin drawls out, yawning widely but not taking his eyes off his computer screen.

Today is Thursday. Even though it is already beyond working hours, Sungjin and Younghyun are still cooped up in Sungjin’s office. Sungjin is working late to finish an important report so Younghyun turned up to bring him dinner and keep him company. 

“Weekend Baking Classes for Couples, Sungjin! This nice lady was handing out flyers when I was on my way to the coffee shop this afternoon and I thought it’s a good way for us to spend time on something worthwhile. It makes sense, right? We love pastries, we love eating and we love each other so we should learn how to bake together!” Younghyun enthusiastically says as he sets aside the test papers he has been checking for the past hour.

Sungjin halts his furious typing to give Younghyun a pointed look before saying, “No.”

Younghyun blinks, mouth hanging open in surprise because he did not expect Sungjin to flat out reject the idea.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” he frowns. 

“I only get to rest on weekends, Younghyun. I would rather stay at home and catch up on sleep than go to silly baking classes,” Sungjin deadpans. 

“Weekends are also my only rest days!” Younghyun complains. “Come on, Sungjin, it will be fun! _We_ will have fun!”

“No,” Sungjin reiterates before looking away and continuing his furious typing. 

Younghyun sulks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You can’t say no anymore because I already signed us up.”

“You cannot make me go.”

“And I already paid for a month’s worth of lessons so it will be a total waste of money if we do not show up!”

Sungjin stops typing again to glare at his husband. “You just met this flyer-giving lady for the first time on the streets, then you paid her for baking classes?”

“Payment is a registration prerequisite,” Younghyun defensively says. 

“Are you sure you didn’t get scammed, Younghyun?” Sungjin sighs, leaning back on his chair’s backrest. 

“I did not! Sungjin, the lady was so sweet! She’s around my mom’s age, how can you even insinuate that she’s a scammer?!”

“Really? What’s the name of the baking school? Where is it located? What time are we supposed to show up?” 

Younghyun opens his mouth to answer but closes it again as if he just realized something. He rummages through his bag and takes out a folded piece of pastel pink paper which, Sungjin assumes, is the flyer. Younghyun scowls after reading it. He crumples it up before grumpily throwing it in the bin. Seeing this, Sungjin rolls his eyes.

“It said that they will just message participants about the time and place of the lessons…” Younghyun muses. “But that lady didn’t even get my contact number! They also didn’t write their contact number on that useless flyer!”

“Oh my God, Younghyun,” Sungjin says, rubbing his face in exasperation. “I won’t even ask how much she scammed out of you. From now on, I’m forbidding you from speaking to strangers.”

Younghyun scoffs, picks up his red pen and starts checking test papers again while muttering under his breath, “...can’t even trust people these days...do I look like an idiot…”

“I’m still going to look for a legitimate baking school, Sungjin. I really like the idea of Baking Classes for Couples so if I do find one, just cooperate, okay?” Younghyun pipes up after a few minutes.

Sungjin remains silent and does not reply so Younghyun looks up, wanting to badger him about the baking classes but the words die in his throat when he sees the look on the other’s face. Sungjin is looking at his phone, a deep frown etched on his face and his jaws are clenched tightly. 

“Is something wrong, Sungjin?” Younghyun curiously asks. 

“Read it,” Sungjin pushes his phone towards Younghyun who gingerly takes it.

It is a message from Sungjin’s older sister, Hana.

_Mother and father are divorcing. Just thought you ought to know before you read about it somewhere._

Younghyun’s eyes widen as he reads the message. He carefully slides the phone back to Sungjin, eyeing him warily. Sungjin is trying to put on a neutral expression, but seeing the way the space between his eyebrows is creased, how his lips are firmly pressed together, Younghyun can tell that the news has disrupted his peace of mind.

Not knowing what to say, Younghyun reaches out to hold Sungjin’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. 

“I don’t believe it. What a load of shit,” Sungjin says, his steady voice faltering towards the end.

“Perhaps it’s just a misunderstanding?” Younghyun tries. “Have you heard anything from them? Anything that could suggest that they really are divorcing?”

Sungjin shakes his head, “No. I haven’t heard from either of them for a while now actually.”

When Sungjin looks up at him, Younghyun offers a small smile which in turn, encourages him to continue. He sounds more determined now but there is still a hint of doubt in his tone.

“Yes, it could be a misunderstanding or my sister’s idea of a joke,” he says. 

“Maybe...” Younghyun replies. 

Sungjin stares hard at Younghyun and imploringly says, “I mean...it does not make sense to throw away more than thirty years of marriage. They have gone through so much and they are in their sixties already. They really wouldn’t think about getting a divorce, right? Why now? It doesn’t make sense, right? Younghyun, right?” 

There is despair in Sungjin’s voice, rather than wanting to make Younghyun see things his way, he sounds like he is trying to convince himself more than anything. Younghyun understands that for Sungjin, it is much easier to delude himself into thinking that the news Hana brought him is just a bad joke, to believe that the mere idea of his parents divorcing is utter rubbish. He knows that his agreement to Sungjin’s words will be comforting in a way but should the news be proven true, Younghyun is afraid that it will hurt Sungjin even more. 

Cautiously, Younghyun gives Sungjin a solemn look before saying, “It’s their marriage, Sungjin. We really have no way of knowing what’s been going on between your parents. I feel that it is better to just go ask them yourself.”

* * * 

Despite the unverified news about the divorce of his parents, Sungjin managed to finish his work that night. The meeting today, however, was a disaster. His report had been heavily criticized and their future plans for the online mall had been ridiculed by the most senior members of the board. Even Kang Hodong looked uncertain as Sungjin presented them.

 _I give props to the creativity. Your team surely has a unique knack for thinking outside the box but I must say that this is much too out there._

_Have you any idea how unfeasible this is given the current market climate? These plans were obviously conceived with little to no thought about the heavy constraints that ADS will surely face._

But the nail in the coffin had been when Hodong gave him a sad smile, a ghost of disappointment crossed his face that resembled Younghyun so much as he told Sungjin, “Regroup your team, Sungjin. Think of something more conventional. I do not think it is wise to push through with so many obvious risks.”

Sungjin is now in a very foul mood as he parks his car in the basement of Park and Co.’s building. In a burst of temper, Sungjin punches the steering wheel once, twice, thrice until the alarm of the car next to his goes off. Sungjin childishly glares at the noisy vehicle as he alights his car before making his way towards the elevator. 

The security greets him warmly, bowing deeply as he says something about how good it is to see him again after so long, but Sungjin can only manage a curt nod in response. In a few moments, he will be face to face with his father, a few minutes more before he will finally get some answers.

Sungjin called his mother this morning, asking her if he could have dinner at their house because he wanted to speak to her and Byungman. To his surprise, he found out that Haera is actually not in town and will not be back until next week. This, of course, sort of corroborates Hana’s message last night. 

As Sungjin thinks back to this conversation he had with his mother, he realizes that it was the reason he had been so agitated the whole morning. If he did not find out that she is out of town, he could have been more focused during the meeting and maybe it wouldn’t be such a disaster.

“Mr. Park, I didn’t know that you were coming!” Byungman’s secretary, Hanmin, exclaims as she gets on her feet when she sees Sungjin striding out of the elevator.

“Do I need an appointment to visit my father?” Sungjin says, sounding more stern than he intends to but he really can no longer be bothered to care.

“N-Not at all, sir,” Hanmin stutters. 

“Well, is he alone in there?” Sungjin urges. 

“Yes, Mr. Park. He is just preparing to leave actually,” Hanman says. “Can I get you something—”

“No. You may leave, Hanmin.”

She blinks her beady eyes at him. She is obviously taken aback at the sudden dismissal but she eventually realizes that Sungjin is currently not in the mood to be questioned because she begins gathering her things at once. 

With a deep inhale, Sungjin walks forward, twisting the brass doorknob of his father’s office. Byungman is sitting behind his desk, looking calm and not at all surprised at the sudden appearance of his son. After closing the door behind him, Sungjin remains rooted on his spot for a while, heart hammering against his chest as if he just ran a marathon. Byungman looks worn out, the lines on his forehead more pronounced, his hair looking more dull and gray since the last time Sungjin has seen him.

“Have a seat, Sungjin,” Byungman speaks, gesturing at the velvet armchair by his desk.

Sungjin complies and with every step that he takes, the feeling of foreboding grows stronger. He barely settles into a sitting position when Byungman starts speaking, unforgivingly straight to the point, not even taking into account Sungjin’s heart that seems to just explode right then and there.

“I assume that you are here because your sister already told you about the divorce.”

Just like that, Sungjin’s worst fear has been confirmed. He grips the chair’s arm rests until his knuckles have turned pale; he just needs to hold onto something to keep himself grounded. 

“So it’s true,” Sungjin finally manages to speak out after a few beats of silence. He felt his mouth move when it formed those words but he can barely recognize the sound of his own voice, small and distant. 

Byungman is gazing at Sungjin, his eyes looking tired and grief-stricken. He nods and does not say anything more. 

“Why?” is the only thing that Sungjin manages to croak out through his chaotic thoughts and feelings.

“I wish I know precisely why...and how,” Byungman sighs, running his gaunt fingers through his hair as he wistfully looks out the window. “But I think she fell out of love.”

“Fell out of love?” Sungjin bites out, eyes wide with incredulity. “She loves you more than anyone else in the world. She loves you more than she loves herself!”

“Loved,” Byungman says glumly.

Sungjin is shaking his head, not wanting to believe any of it. “But you’ve been married for decades. It—”

“Son, please,” Byungman says, giving Sungjin a quelling look. “You are mature enough to know that being together for a very long time does not guarantee that you will never separate. People fall out of love all the time, even old people like us. Feelings are fickle, unreliable, treacherous. Many couples our age stay together merely out of convenience or out of habit. Not because they love each other.”

“Why did you let her leave you, then? Why didn’t you just stay together?” Sungjin demands. 

“It will be selfish of me to ask Haera to stay unhappy with me when she has already found happiness somewhere else.”

Sungjin’s mind reels back to the private island, how he bumped into his mother when they were about to leave. Haera looked uncomfortable that she ran into Sungjin, looked guilty that Changho was with her. Even then, Sungjin found it fishy that the two were together without Byungman but he did not want to jump into nasty conclusions about his own mother. Now, however, he feels like throwing up, the weight of the situation suddenly increasing tenfold.

“Uncle Changho. It’s him, isn’t it?” Sungjin says.

Byungman, understanding what Sungjin means, nods. Sungjin feels furious on his father’s behalf. Byungman treated Changho like a little brother, gave him a job and mentored him closely, and this is what he gets in return? And his mother. Sungjin cannot even begin to fathom how his mother betrayed his father like this when she claimed to love him more than anything.

As Byungman speaks this time, he sounds bitter, almost resentful. 

“It is blatant ignorance to presume that the person who had dedicated most of their life by your side, the person who loved every bit and piece of you, will not grow tired of you someday. You may find that they might even grow to resent the things that attracted them to you in the first place. Time turns the most beautiful things ugly, takes away what is most precious.”

Sungjin feels the world closing in on him as his mind unwillingly tread on miserable thoughts. He thinks about Younghyun, how he looks at Sungjin with raw adoration and unconditional love. Younghyun, so devotedly in love with every aspect of Sungjin’s being, thinks that Sungjin is the best person in the world. He cannot bear the possibility that someday, being with Sungjin might no longer make Younghyun happy.

Byungman must have seen the look on Sungjin’s face because his eyes soften.

“I am aware that your relationship with Younghyun is going well. I truly am happy for you and I sincerely hope you will not end up like us. Forgive me if I have planted depressing thoughts in your mind.”

* * * 

A lone lamp is lit in the living room when Sungjin gets home at half past two. He stumbles as he toes off his shoes and elbows the front door shut with a bang, the hinges rattling noisily at the impact. He knows he reeks of cigarettes and alcohol, his hair is probably a sweaty mess and his chin probably has remnants of his own vomit but Younghyun does not wrinkle his nose in disgust, does not scold him for being home so late and does not chastise him for being drunk beyond coherence. Sungjin feels himself being enveloped in a hug, one of Younghyun’s hand gently resting the back of his head.

Sungjin hears him saying something when they break the hug but his brain is unable to make sense of anything at the moment. He feels himself being led upstairs, work coat being slid off his torso, being offered a glass of water and finally being dressed in soft pajamas. Younghyun is in the middle of helping him wash his face at the sink when Sungjin sobers up a little. Through the mirror, he sees Younghyun’s looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. When he raises his hand to rinse the suds off, Sungjin holds onto his wrist before it makes contact with his face.

“Sungjin…?” Younghyun says when Sungjin continues to keep his wrist there without saying anything. 

As he looks at Younghyun, a mixture of irrational anger, anxiety and pain arises in Sungjin’s chest, causing him to push the hand away a little too harshly. 

“Get away from me,” Sungjin says, now panting as he fights to prevent his emotions from exploding.

Nonplussed, Younghyun blinks. “Let’s get you to bed, Sungjin. You need sleep.”

Younghyun reaches out to hold him, but finds his fingers grasping on air as Sungjin takes a step back. His heart clenches in trepidation at the action.

“Sungjin?”

He makes another move to touch Sungjin, but the other takes yet another step back, flinching away as if the mere proximity of Younghyun’s hand to his skin aggravates his emotional burden.

“Please, Sungjin,” Younghyun says beseechingly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sungjin looks at him with his expression stony and impossible to gauge, Younghyun suddenly feels despair creeping up on him. Terror arises in his chest at the thought that Sungjin might be blocking him out again.

“You remind me of my mother,” Sungjin says, voice sounding spiteful.

“I don’t understand…” Younghyun says, getting seriously concerned at the way Sungjin is staring at him coldly.

“Do you love me, Younghyun?” 

“Sungjin, what kind of question is that—”

“Do you love me?!” Sungjin yells.

“O-Of course. I love you! I love you more than anything!”

Sungjin clicks his tongue, scoffing as if Younghyun just gave him the wrong answer. “You really are like my mother. Head over heels in love, a devoted spouse, adored my father to death…loved him more than anything in the world.”

Younghyun watches as Sungjin rubs his face, looking like he is struggling to string his thoughts together into sentences. 

“She was so much like you. Never, in my entire life, did I ever think that she could do this to father...fell out of love...found someone else...”

At this point, Sungjin leans against the wall, hands now pulling at his hair as he screws his eyes shut. Younghyun hates seeing him like this and he wants nothing more than to hold him, offer him some comfort, but he is scared that Sungjin might flinch away from him again.

“I never understood how you put up with me, Younghyun, why you keep wanting me when I kept pushing you away, treating you like shit—”

“It’s because I love you, Sungjin,” Younghyun says, desperate to make Sungjin understand.

Again, Sungjin scoffs, shaking his head. “ _Love_. My mother loved my father too, but look where she’s at now. It will only be a matter of time before _you_ also find someone else. 

I never really understood why you were so relentless in trying to make me love you back but maybe I do now. Is it the thrill, Younghyun? Wanting someone so closed off like me is probably exciting to you, isn’t it? Well, now you opened me up, made me love you back, got me in bed. There is nothing left for you to uncover. You already got everything you want and soon, you’ll grow tired of me too. Then, you’ll screw me over. Just like how my mother screwed my father over.”

“No, Sungjin, never,” Younghyun gasps. Unable to just keep standing there while Sungjin is letting himself get eaten by these dark thoughts, Younghyun dares to take a step closer. He wants to hold Sungjin, wants to let him know that he will never fall out of love or find someone else. He finds himself staggering backwards, however, when Sungjin rejects the hug and pushes him away. The way Sungjin is looking at him with blank eyes is like getting his heart clawed out of his heart by sharp talons.

“Leave,” Sungjin says, voice sounding dead.

“I’m not leaving you! Sungjin, I’m not your mother! Please, don’t lash out at me!” Younghyun cries out, his hands defiantly clenching into fists.

“You’re just like her,” Sungjin whispers lowly. “Leave. I don’t want to see you here in the morning.”

Younghyun’s breath hitches as he finally lets tears fall from his eyes. Through his blurred vision, he miserably watches Sungjin walk out of the bathroom without sparing him another look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, there is only one chapter left~ 
> 
> I'm wondering, though, how do you guys feel about a SungBri Harry Potter!AU? I'm thinking half-veela Younghyun with his I Wait hair...🤔


	7. i will curl these toes in this soil and stand my ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumble low and bring blackness above me,  
> let it growl and throw shadows all around me.  
> Bring your thunder and bright white flash,  
> I will curl these toes in this soil and stand my ground.  
> There are no winds high enough  
> to scare me from here, no shock I cannot absorb.  
> I will stare into your darkness  
> and show you the light left in me.  
>  _-(Wildly Into the Dark, Tyler Knott)_

The sun is hidden beneath clouds of dark grey the following day while the wind howls a sorrowful tone, bringing with it a chilly weather. Thunder is rumbling from a distance, signalling the brewing storm overhead but inside the house, Younghyun is already living the aftermath of the calamity that struck the previous night. Curled up in a tight ball on the couch where he has been staying all night, Younghyun is fast asleep, restless as his dreams are plagued by the sole image of Sungjin looking at him with those empty eyes, asking him to leave. Morning is half gone now, cars are speeding away along their street, people going about their weekend errands. Kids are skipping on the sidewalk, being quickly shepherded by their parents back to their homes before the rain starts pouring. 

Younghyun gasps awake and jerks up in a sitting position immediately after a particularly loud boom of thunder. It takes him several moments to get reacquainted with his surroundings, baffled to find himself in the living room instead of in the bedroom he shares with his husband. Soon enough, however, the recent events come crashing down on him, piercingly cold and unpleasant like shards of ice. Younghyun reels, varying emotions that come with the fragments of recollection make him dizzy so he hides his face in his hands, wishing that everything had all just been an awful nightmare.

Looking over to the kitchen, Younghyun spots the plate of breakfast that he made for Sungjin a few hours prior. It sits untouched next to his own food, probably stone cold by now just like everything else in the house. Darkness creeps in through the windows and settles in every corner of the living room as thick clouds swoop lower and lower. The shiver that runs down his spine is like a sinister assurance that it was not a nightmare.

At the realization, a fresh wave of pain blooms in Younghyun’s chest. This is his reality.

Sungjin’s parents are really divorcing and Sungjin really came home drunk out of his mind last night. He really vented his anger out at Younghyun and asked him to leave after concluding that Younghyun was just like Haera.

Despite everything, however, Younghyun chose to stay. He knows better than to hold anything that was said last night against Sungjin. Sungjin who is already stretched thin, bearing the enormous pressure that work relentlessly puts on his back. The last thing he needs is for his personal life to become messed up but fate has a twisted humor so it gave Sungjin just that and generously added something a bit worse: the unexpected divorce of his parents and his mother’s infidelity. A person could only take so much before they are driven off the edge, pushed to say things they do not mean.

Younghyun cannot bear to put the blame on Sungjin for his actions and words. In his intoxicated state, Sungjin acted like how a wounded animal would, opting to be aggressive in order to protect himself from more pain. Sungjin needs him now more than ever and this is why Younghyun chose to stay.

With this in mind, Younghyun pulls himself off the couch and determinedly makes his way towards the foot of the stairs. He should check on Sungjin; he might be sick or nursing a hangover. Younghyun idles for a while, head tilted upwards as he peers into the corner to catch a glimpse of their bedroom door. 

Fear seizes him when he sees that the door is wide open. Taking two steps at a time, Younghyun climbs up to the second floor in mere seconds and as soon as he steps into their bedroom, his stomach drops. 

The bed is neatly made, completely Sungjin-free.

“Sungjin?” Younghyun calls out, voice quaking in apprehension while his eyes expectantly look around as if he will catch sight of Sungjin being silly, hiding behind the curtains or perhaps, in the gaps between the furniture.

But there is no Sungjin hiding behind curtains or between the furniture.

Heart beating rapidly now, Younghyun wrenches the bathroom door open. Sungjin’s towel is strewn across the floor but Sungjin himself is not in there either. The mirror is still fogged up as if someone took a very hot shower just a few minutes ago.

“Sungjin! Where are you?!” Younghyun shouts, on the verge of panicking as he strides back into the main room.

Without giving it much thought, he drops down, lays flat on his stomach to inspect under their bed as if Sungjin would really think about hiding there. Alas, darkness is the only occupant of the small space.

Their closet is neat and relief momentarily fills him upon seeing that Sungjin’s clothes are still folded and hung by their respective spots. It is, however, short-lived when Younghyun is confronted by the absence of Sungjin’s black backpack. It usually sits in one corner, collecting dust, but it’s gone now and Younghyun even walks over to get a closer look as if he mistrusts his eyes. But the backpack is really gone. Sungjin’s passport is also missing.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Younghyun chants, haring down the stairs.

He almost trips over the carpet in his haste to get to the couch where his phone is. His hands are trembling so badly when he taps on Sungjin’s name, calling him. Younghyun starts sobbing when the electronic voice informs him that Sungjin’s phone is turned off but, nonetheless, tries to keep his composure so he can call their friends and ask if they know where his husband is.

Jae picks up on the seventh ring. He obviously just woke up, irritable when he hears Younghyun’s loud and frantic voice. “Is Sungjin with you?!”

“Why would your husband be with me? It’s ten in the morning on a _Saturday_ , Younghyun! Stop yelling at people!”

Without replying, Younghyun hangs up to call Wonpil next. He is perkier than Jae and sounds concerned when Younghyun asks if Sungjin is with him.

“No, Sungjin isn’t here. What’s the matter? Younghyun, are you crying?”

Younghyun tries Dowoon afterwards but the kid is not picking up which raises his suspicion. Giving it little to no thought, Younghyun grabs his car keys and in no time, he is speeding down the highway towards Dowoon’s apartment.

* * *

“I just lied to Younghyun for you. You better give me a really good reason for making me do that.”

Jae’s blond hair looks like a bird’s nest and one of his plump cheeks is deeply etched with pillow marks, while his comically large shirt is heavily wrinkled. Anyone who sees him will have a hard time taking him seriously but he easily makes Sungjin cower when he angrily squints his beady eyes at him.

“Well?” Jae demands, turning a bit pink in indignation. He had been looking forward to sleeping in until noon but his plan is now obviously foiled by none other than his two idiotic friends.

Sungjin just suddenly turned up on Jae’s doorstep, looking disheveled with his backpack slung over one shoulder. He asked Jae if he could crash there for a while and Jae, having just woken up and still groggy, thoughtlessly agreed. He barely had time to put his backpack down when Jae’s phone started ringing. Seeing that it was Younghyun, Jae had given Sungjin a very suspicious look which turned disappointed and borderline angry when Sungjin pleaded with him not to tell that he was there. 

If Sungjin did not look so pitiful, Jae would not have lied to Younghyun.

“We just need to be apart. I...said some really horrible things to him last night. I wrongly let my anger out at him,” Sungjin says, a feeling of overwhelming shame washing over him. 

“What did you say? Why? What happened?” Jae asks, looking more and more concerned with every question that spills out his mouth. 

Jae sits next to Sungjin and stares at him expectantly.

As Sungjin opens his mouth to start recounting last night’s events, heavy rain finally starts pouring, pelting loudly against the roof and the windows, making it harder for Jae to hear Sungjin’s uncharacteristically small voice. He tells Jae everything, from his parents’ divorce, Haera’s affair and the similarities Younghyun seems to share with Haera made Sungjin feel crazy with unexplainable fear. 

As he repeats the story to Jae, Sungjin’s heart hurts more and more. It’s as if each word that leaves his mouth carves a deep gash. Now that his mind is no longer misty with alcohol and irrational rage, Sungjin realizes that he could have handled things way better.

“Did you perhaps lose your marbles? Are you insane?” Jae says, gaping at Sungjin incredulously.

“Maybe I am,” Sungjin sighs, rubbing his face. “I think, however, that this is what is best for us. I should have never married him. Our relationship was better off without the complications that love brings along. My only regret is the way I ended things. I should have calmly talked to him and made him understand why I am doing this.”

Sungjin pauses to stare at the window where a heavy sheet of rain obscures his view of the city outside.

“Perhaps it is better this way,” Sungjin muses, sounding like he is having a conversation with himself and has forgotten that Jae is sitting just a few inches away from him. “Perhaps I hurt him enough for him to hate me now.”

At this, Jae gets on his feet, looking at Sungjin as if he just stepped on a helpless kitten’s tail. 

“Hate you?” Jae exclaims, positively swelling with anger. “You heard him when he called, Sungjin! He was obviously crying! All because of you!”

“It’s for the best,” Sungjin says.

“For the—for the best?” Jae sputters, looking thoroughly displeased at his friend’s attitude, “Sungjin, I honestly don’t know if I should pity you or punch you right now.”

“Father and mother married out of love. They chose each other because they were in love but they still separated. Do you really think Younghyun and I stand a chance?”

Jae’s phone starts to ring again, he glances at it but who it is, Sungjin does not get the chance to know because Jae silences the device before turning to look at him again. 

“What’s that got to do with you and Younghyun? You are not your parents. Younghyun is not your mother. He stood by you for so long—”

“That does not guarantee that he will stay with me—”

“So what? Why are you doing this to Younghyun, Sungjin? Why are you judging him even before he could prove you wrong? Why aren’t you giving him a chance to prove you wrong? You’re being really unfair,” Jae says, furiously jabbing his finger towards Sungjin with every sentence. Although he is not raising his voice, his face is livid as he towers over Sungjin.

“What’s unfair is if I continue this relationship with Younghyun!” Sungjin shrieks, standing up as well to square Jae up. “Do you know how much more meaningful my life has become ever since I decided to let him in? God, he makes me _so happy_! He really does! But what does he get out of this marriage? Absolutely nothing! Jae, all I do is dump a load of shit on him. This relationship will not survive. Being with me will only make him miserable! He will eventually get tired of me! I cannot do that to him! Younghyun does not deserve that!”

“You’re right,” Jae says, nostrils flaring as he glares at Sungjin. “Younghyun does not deserve someone who thinks so lowly of him.”

Taken aback and slightly bewildered, Sungjin opens his mouth to retort but Jae holds up a hand to shut him up.

“I’m really sorry that your parents are divorcing and I’m sure the experience has been horrible for you so far,” he says but he does not sound sorry at all. “But I feel more sorry for Younghyun who fell in love with someone who thinks he only loves him because he can get something out of the relationship. You’re a great asshole for that, Sungjin. I want you to know that.”

Jae enters his room and emerges a few seconds later with an umbrella and a jacket. Shaking his head at Sungjin disappointedly, Jae walks out of his own apartment and slams the door behind him, leaving Sungjin to wallow in his misery.

* * *

The storm still does not go away; relentless even during the early hours of the afternoon. The weather guy says that it is most likely to linger until tomorrow night. Younghyun finds himself sitting on the wooden floor of Dowoon’s living room ignoring the now lukewarm bowl of instant noodles on the coffee table in front of him. He shifts a little, his damp shirt clinging onto his skin. His car, which has not been used in a while, ran out of gas when he was just a few blocks away from Dowoon’s place. He managed to haul the useless vehicle to a sidewalk with the help of a few passersby but the clouds unleashed the rain immediately after that, soaking him to the bone, even before he got to Dowoon’s front door.

Dowoon, like Jae, woke up to loud knocks on his door. He was dragged fully to consciousness at the sight of Younghyun. Shivering and looking slightly crazy, Younghyun asked him if Sungjin was there. He was going to leave right away when he was told that Sungjin was not there but Dowoon, deeply concerned for him, managed to convince him to wait the rain out before continuing his search for Sungjin.

Younghyun recounted to Dowoon what happened between him and Sungjin. Shocked about the events and anxious about the state Younghyun is in, Dowoon asked Wonpil to come over. Although Younghyun allowed himself to be comforted, accepting warm hugs and reassurances about how Sungjin would come to his senses and everything would be okay, he refused to eat anything and stubbornly continued to wear his wet clothes, as if he was planning to bolt out the door the moment the last drop of rain hits the ground.

Still shaking like a leaf because of his damp clothes, Younghyun is now staring blankly at the downpour through the window while he hears his friends hissing and whispering a few meters away. Jae, whose apartment is right around the corner, just arrived. 

Younghyun is sincerely grateful that they are all here to console him but he cannot help wondering who Sungjin is with right now. He cannot help worrying that Sungjin might be dealing with the situation alone; unless he sought the company of his family instead. Younghyun thinks it is unlikely since they are the main source of his troubles at the moment. Younghyun does not completely dismiss the idea, though, because Sungjin could be with his sister, Hana.

Feeling optimistic about the fresh lead on Sungjin’s whereabouts, Younghyun stands up, wanting to ask his friends’ opinion about this but he stops when he hears Sungjin’s name being spoken.

“...run to the airport because he said Sungjin brought his passport with him. He seems to think Sungjin’s going out of the country.”

Wonpil nods in agreement earnestly, “Dowoon only got him to stay after telling him that flights are probably cancelled in this weather.”

Younghyun watches Jae lean a bit closer to the two who mirror the action before speaking in a voice so quiet that Younghyun almost does not catch what he says next.

“Sungjin is at my apartment.”

Jae spoke so softly that Younghyun does not immediately believe what he heard. Is it possible that in his despair to hear anything about Sungjin, he is beginning to become delirious?

Wonpil’s exclamation, however, confirms that Younghyun really heard correctly, “Let’s bring Younghyun there, then!”

Walking closer to his friends, Younghyun hears Jae hissing at Wonpil to keep his voice down. If Younghyun is not so intent on hearing more of their conversation, he would have found it hilarious how they still have not noticed him standing just behind them.

“I don’t think so,” Jae huffs, looking indignant. “Look, this whole Sungjin-taking-Younghyun-for-granted thing has to end. I can’t stand it anymore. It has to stop.”

“But they love each other, Jae. We can’t just let them break up like this,” Dowoon says, looking wide-eyed up at the older. 

“I don’t want them to break up for good either but they need to be kept apart for now,” Jae says as he shakes his head. “Sungjin and I sort of argued. He is being unreasonable. I don’t think—”

“So Sungjin really is in your apartment?” Younghyun interjects, deciding that he dilly dallied enough and it is time for him to act.

The sight is funny, all three of them whipping their heads around at the same time, astounded to find Younghyun standing so close to them. But Younghyun does not laugh. He just looks at Jae expectantly.

Cautious as if talking to someone on their deathbed, Jae tells him, “Younghyun, I think you need to leave Sungjin alone for now.”

Affronted, Younghyun rounds up at Jae, causing the taller man to slightly back away, “Jae, you don’t understand. Sungjin needs me. I’m going there to bring him home with me so we could talk.”

“What he needs is space. We all know there’s no way to reason with Sungjin when he’s being like this,” Jae stoutly says.

Completely disregarding his friends’ protests, Younghyun pushes past them, sprints out the door and into the storm. Now that Younghyun knows where Sungjin is, no amount of rain, wind, or thunder will keep him from reaching him. 

If everything goes well, they will be back home by the end of the day, hand in hand. Things will be okay again and they will have a delicious dinner as usual, then cuddle on the couch in front of the television. Sungjin’s kisses and a steaming cup of chamomile tea will be heavenly in this weather. Perhaps Younghyun can even convince his husband to look for a legitimate baking school where they could enroll and learn how to make delectable sweets together.

With these thoughts powering him on, Younghyun soars through the slippery streets. Several cars screech to a halt, honking at him when he appears out of nowhere in the middle of a busy crossroad. Younghyun pays them no mind, Jae’s front door is just a few feet away from him and when he finally reaches it, he wastes no time and jams his finger at the doorbell. His lungs are on fire and his legs feel like they will give way any moment now but his cold hands are clasped together in a desperate prayer that Sungjin would forget to look through the peephole. He might not want to open the door when he sees that it is Younghyun.

To Younghyun’s great relief, the front door swings open. Sungjin is standing there with his thick eyebrows scrunched up in a worried frown as he looks at Younghyun from head to toe. Younghyun squirms under the gaze, blinking fast as the rain keeps drumming against his eyelids. He probably looks deranged but it is the least of his concerns. 

Sungjin is there. Sungjin is right there and everything will be okay.

In a flurry of movement that momentarily makes black spots appear in his vision, Younghyun feels himself being dragged over the threshold and into the warmth of Jae’s apartment. The front door slams behind him and the next thing he knows is Sungjin is gripping him by the shoulders, still frowning as Younghyun drips rain water on the welcome rug.

“Are you crazy?” Sungjin exclaims, shaking Younghyun slightly.

But Younghyun does not answer. He barely manages to fling himself at Sungjin before loud, wretched sobs are ripping out from the depths of his heart.

“Don’t leave me!” Younghyun gasps in between sobs as he senses Sungjin’s sturdy hands finding their way around his waist.

Younghyun cries harder when it dawns on him that he is not being pushed away. Sungjin is holding him close and, eventually, Younghyun feels Sungjin’s hand rubbing the small of his back soothingly. The gesture offers immense comfort to his weary heart and just like that, the world seems to brighten a little despite the raging storm on the other side of the door.

“You’re burning up,” Sungjin suddenly says, breaking the hug and touching Younghyun’s forehead, cheeks and neck.

Younghyun is shivering and the edges of his vision are starting to darken but he grasps Sungjin’s warm hands in his cold ones. What he is about to tell Sungjin is important and it cannot wait.

“Sungjin, listen to me,” Younghyun says, gazing at him imploringly. “I will never fall out of love with you and I will never leave you.”

“Younghyun…”

“You just have to trust me. Trust in my love for you,” Younghyun continues, swaying slightly as his surroundings tilts a little.

“Younghyun, you have a fever. Younghyun?”

Sungjin’s eyes are wet, glistening with fear and Younghyun wants to tell him not to be scared. Younghyun wants to assure him that he will always be by his side but, out of nowhere, his tether to consciousness is severed, the world completely keels over as his vision blacks out.

* * *

When Younghyun regains his consciousness, the rain has stopped but the sun is still concealed beneath the lingering clouds. The feeling of being back in the familiar room he shares with Sungjin eases his racing mind despite the soreness of his muscles and the pounding headache. He is dry, wrapped in the warmest and softest set of pajamas, lying on the comfortable bed that seems to be beckoning him back to sleep. He fights the urge to close his tired eyes, however, because he can hear familiar voices. The sound is muffled but he can tell from their volume and tone that the owners are not having a nice, friendly chat; they sound like they are squabbling.

Younghyun hears Sungjin’s calm but firm voice talking over Jae who sounds irritated. Sensing hostility, Younghyun is lured off the bed, out of the room and down the stairs. When he reaches the hallway towards the living room, neither Sungjin nor Jae is saying anything. He stands there hidden from view by a wall and hears Wonpil’s soft voice speaking instead. He is far calmer than both Sungjin and Jae but, nonetheless, he also sounds upset.

“...hurt him again and we will never speak to you again. I mean it, Sungjin.” 

He takes a step forward and he can finally see the living room. All of his friends are on their feet: Dowoon is standing between Sungjin and Jae while Wonpil is right behind Jae who is glaring at the floor as if it just insulted his ancestors.

“I’ll make things right…” Sungjin says, the creases on his forehead deepening as he warily looks from Dowoon to Jae to Wonpil. 

“Oh, you better!” Jae snaps, abandoning his glaring contest with the floor to glare at Sungjin instead. “I don’t care how messed up your situation is right now. It’s no excuse to be treating people who love you like shit. Especially Younghyun.”

Sungjin averts his eyes as if the expression on Jae’s face physically hurts him. He starts rubbing his face hard and that is when Younghyun decides it is time for him to step in. He cannot just stand there and let Sungjin get mercilessly scolded by their friends.

“Hi,” Younghyun clears his throat but his voice still sounds scratchy because of the fever. “Please don’t bully my husband.”

At the sound of his voice, the others turn their heads towards him. Though surprised, they all seem grateful to see him up and about, looking relatively better than he did an hour ago.

“Younghyun!” Dowoon is the quickest to gather his bearings. He strides over to where Younghyun is, eyebrows knitted together while his eyes are wide with worry. “How are you feeling? Are you okay now?”

Younghyun gives Dowoon a fond smile, his dry lips cracking a little at the sudden stretch. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“You fainted! Do you know that? You had a really high fever and it’s all because you didn’t change out of your wet clothes when I told you to,” Dowoon rants, looking at him almost accusingly.

“Sorry, I should have listened to you,” Younghyun apologizes.

“It’s okay…” Dowoon mumbles. 

But Younghyun’s eyes are no longer on Dowoon. His feet are already walking over to stand next to Sungjin. Wonpil shifts his weight from foot to foot, looking apprehensive while Jae is once again glaring at the floor.

“Thank you for helping us get home,” Younghyun says. “But really, don’t bully him.”

Jae takes a deep breath, opening his mouth, poised to go off again but upon seeing the look on Younghyun’s face and the hand holding onto Sungjin’s, Jae clicks his tongue and just swallows whatever it is that he was going to say. 

“I’d like to talk to Sungjin now...alone, if you guys don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Wonpil nods and pats Younghyun on the shoulder. “Of course, Younghyun. We’ll just call later to check up on you two.”

The small smile that Wonpil directs at Sungjin before he walks off goes unnoticed because Sungjin has his eyes casted downwards. 

Jae looks like he is biting his tongue because he grimaces before he starts telling Younghyun, “If he starts becoming unreasonable again—” 

“It’s okay, Jae,” Younghyun says, a little more curt and assertive this time. 

“Alright. If you say so.” 

Jae finally follows Wonpil and Dowoon. With the gentle click of the front door, the Younghyun finally alone again with Sungjin.

They stand there for a moment, just staring at each other. Sungjin’s eyes wander from Younghyun’s face down to his torso and legs, scanning, checking, making sure that Younghyun is not coming down with something worse than a fever. Younghyun stands still, drinking Sungjin in with his own piercing stare, satisfied that even though they had a tough night and morning, at least Sungjin is not trying to get away from him anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Sungjin says when he concludes that Younghyun seems fine apart from the fever.

“It’s okay,” Younghyun says, voice slightly cracking since his throat is still sore. “Coffee?”

Sungjin blinks, taken aback by the casual question. His confusion must have shown on his face because Younghyun gives his hand a gentle tug and explains while they make their way to the kitchen.

“I need to convince you not to leave me,” he says, slightly laughing, “so I need my brain to function properly.”

Younghyun’s tone is lighthearted but Sungjin feels his stomach sink with undeniable guilt. Still, he does not say anything just yet and merely lets Younghyun sit him down on one of the tall stools by the kitchen counter. 

Sungjin watches Younghyun opening drawers, grabbing utensils and turning on the coffee machine. He bustles around the kitchen so naturally like he has been living there for several lifetimes already. Sungjin looks on as Younghyun slides the fresh cup of coffee towards him before heaving himself up on the stool beside Sungjin’s, releasing a groan as his sore muscles ache in protest. Sungjin tries to help him, hand already reaching out but Younghyun finally manages to perch himself up on the chair. 

With his eyes closed, Younghyun takes a sip of his coffee and lets out a long sigh, completely unaware that Sungjin is visited by the sudden urge to weep. Sungjin wants to hit himself for even thinking that asking Younghyun to leave would be the best for the both of them.

_What was I thinking?_

Younghyun belongs here, in Sungjin’s home. Younghyun belongs with Sungjin. Younghyun is Sungjin’s home. 

“I’m sorry,” Sungjin says, voice quaking as he tries with all his might to keep the tears at bay. “I should have never said those things to you, Younghyun. I hope you can forgive me.”

Younghyun turns to Sungjin. “Oh, Sungjin, I forgive you. It’s okay,” he says upon noticing the tears in the other’s eyes.

Thunder is rumbling yet again from above the house, the lights flickering for a split second. But rain does not fall. Sungjin’s tears, however, do. As they slide down his cheeks, Sungjin’s feelings of shame and remorse come spilling out of his mouth as well.

“No, it is not okay, Younghyun. From the day we met, you’ve always been there. You take my side even if I’m being an insufferable asshole. You’re always there, always. Even when I gave you so much shit to deal with, even when I rejected you, told you I don’t love you that way, you stayed by my side. You _always_ stayed. Even now.

“I used to doubt your intentions so much. I thought you’ll eventually realize that I’m not as great as you made me out to be and that you’ll eventually lose interest, leave, find someone who is actually great—someone who is filled with so much love just like you...then you’ll forget about me.

“But you didn’t. You’re still here. You’re the only one who genuinely believes in me, and it’s very hard not to love someone who believes in me as much as you do! It’s hard not to fall in love with someone who gave me enough courage to take a leap and just open the hell up!”

Sungjin’s face has become scarlet, a vein has bulged in the middle of his forehead as tears violently rush out of his eyes as if they’ve been trapped there for an eternity. Younghyun stands up and rests his head on Sungjin’s chest, hugging him.

“I’m so afraid, Younghyun,” Sungjin laments, closing his eyes as he buries his face in Younghyun’s hair. “Father said that mother fell out of love and has found happiness in someone else. I’m so scared, because what if you get tired of my shit and become unhappy? What if I am no longer enough to make you happy? What if you grow to resent me? What if I make you sad? I’m afraid of losing you the same way father lost mother. I don’t ever want to lose you, Younghyun.”

Younghyun plants a tender kiss on Sungjin’s forehead before staring into his eyes intently. By now, Younghyun has tears in his eyes as well. Hearing Sungjin’s fears make his heart ache but he wills himself to speak as firmly as he could, wanting to ease those insecurities.

“Listen,” he solemnly says, “No shit you throw at me will ever be nasty enough to scare me away, Sungjin. I’m here to stay.”

Sungjin’s lips tremble, shuddering as more tears spill out. Younghyun also cries some more but he maintains the intensity of his gaze. He needs to get the message across. He needs to make Sungjin understand.

“I could’ve moved on with my life when you said you didn’t like me back. I could’ve found someone else and I could’ve forgotten about you. But I didn’t. I chose not to. You’re the only one I will choose, over and over again. No matter how many times you push me away, you will always be the only one for me. I don’t know why and you have no idea how it used to drive me crazy. At some point, I wanted nothing more than to gouge you out, or amputate that damned part of me that kept loving you.

“I know it may seem like I had no choice but really, I did. I could’ve done that even if it would take time, even if it would hurt a lot, I had a choice to walk the fuck away, Sungjin. I could’ve moved to the other side of the world, filed a restraining order or whatever, but I didn’t. This idiot chose to find more reasons to love you. I taught myself to be content about us being just friends because it’s the only way for me not to lose you. Do you honestly think I would choose to leave you now that you love me back? I’m not an idiot.”

Sungjin manages a small smile, his tears have calmed a bit. The rain decides to fall again outside. Younghyun gives him a lingering but chaste kiss before carrying on. 

“Sungjin, people fall out of love because they let themselves fall out of it. Your mother chose to leave and went to find love somewhere else instead of working things out with your father. That’s her and it has nothing to do with _us_. Our future is uncertain and I can’t promise to be happy with you all the time. I can’t promise that you won’t upset or annoy me. What I can promise you, though, is that I will always choose you. I will always find something lovable about you and I will always be on your side even if you’re being an insufferable asshole.”

“What did I ever do in my past life,” Sungjin says, reaching his hand out to gently trace Younghyun’s lips with his thumb, “to be loved so deeply by you, Younghyun? What can I ever do to deserve your love?” 

Younghyun closes his eyes, leaning into the warmth of Sungjin’s hand. “Be brave. For me. I want you to be brave enough to love and always choose me, Sungjin.”

Lightning rips through the purple sky and thunder claps furiously. The rain is beating the walls mercilessly. The world might as well end right there and then but when Sungjin pulls Younghyun in for another kiss, everything is right once again.

* * *

Four months later, Sungjin steps down from his position at ADS and will instead take Byungman’s place in Park and Co., so the old man can finally retire. Although Hodong is greatly disappointed that he lost a very worthy and talented successor, he deeply understands that it has to be done for Sungjin’s peace of mind as well and, of course, to appease the old hags at ADS. The environment there has become so unbearably toxic beyond redemption that someone has to give way for everyone’s sake. Sungjin has had enough and with Younghyun’s support, he manages to escape the shit show.

There is the matter of the deal that has been made between Park and Co. and ADS. That is still in effect, but with some amendments. Park and Co. will still be the exclusive shipping service for the ADS online mall but the two companies will no longer merge.

“I don’t get it,” Wonpil says, slowly scratching his head in bewilderment.

They are currently in Sungjin and Younghyun’s house, having a small party in the backyard to celebrate Sungjin’s liberation from being the COO of ADS; Sungjin has just been filling them in about the details. There are nachos with guacamole, pizza and pasta and a few bottles of beer on the table. Younghyun just quickly went inside to turn on the lights in the backyard and retrieve their newly purchased mosquito killer lamp since dusk has summoned the pesky blood-suckers.

“To put it simply, we’ll buy back their share in Park and Co.. Gradually,” Sungjin simplifies. 

“Oh, like a loan or something?” Jae asks, blinking his beady eyes in comprehension.

Sungjin nods. “You can say that…” 

Younghyun is back, a big smile on his face as he pads towards them with the mosquito killer lamp. Dowoon eyes it interestingly, mouth gaping. 

“Did you get that online?” Dowoon inquires as Younghyun takes his place next to Sungjin and puts the lamp in the middle of the table.

“Of course!” Younghyun says. “Everything is cheaper online! Sungjin and I saw one at the mall a couple of weeks ago and that one was so expensive. Got this half the price online.”

Younghyun powers it on. Its blue light glows, illuminating their faces from a strange angle. 

“This one looks like a knock off, though,” Sungjin admits, looking at the lamp dubiously.

“Well, if it does the job…” Younghyun shrugs, trailing off as he looks at Sungjin. He perks up, remembering something. “Anyone want ice cream? It’s homemade. Sungjin made it!”

Everyone says they want ice cream, especially because it is made by Sungjin so Sungjin volunteers (enthusiastically) to go get it from the fridge. When he is out of earshot, Younghyun turns to the others and looks at them seriously. 

“It’s awful but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that because he looked so proud when he made it,” he says. 

Jae and Wonpil snort simultaneously while Dowoon says, “We’ll tell him for you. Don’t worry!”

“Don’t you dare!” Younghyun clicks his tongue. “Just say it’s delicious! He just needs a little practice!”

Wonpil is beside himself from laughing and does not stop even as Sungjin is walking over to them so Younghyun kicks his shin from under the table.

When they all have ice cream, Dowoon starts complaining that the mosquito killer lamp is a scam because he’s been bitten thrice now. Meanwhile, Jae takes his first spoonful of ice cream and he almost gags but stops himself when he notices Sungjin looking at him expectantly. 

Jae then glances at Younghyun who is glaring at him menacingly so he forces a huge smile and says, “Wow! This is so delicious! This can’t be your first time making ice cream, Sungjin! It’s so good! Divine! Wonderful!”

Sungjin glows with pride and says, “No, it’s really my first attempt. I just followed an online recipe.”

Jae gags for real now when Younghyun starts cooing at Sungjin and saying, “You’re really so good at everything you do, aren’t you?”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Wonpil pointedly says when Sungjin pecks Younghyun on the tip of his nose. “I think it’s great that Uncle Hodong let Sungjin resign. But how exactly does he feel about relinquishing control over the company someday now that he doesn’t even have you to succeed him?”

“Terribly sad, of course,” Sungjin says. 

“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Younghyun tells them, waving his hand dismissively. “This is the deal we proposed originally, anyway. He just went rogue and added that stupid marriage clause on his own after having a stroke of dumbness in that old brain of his.”

“You sound like you hate that marriage clause. Do you also want that amended?” Sungjin points out, pretending to be offended.

Younghyun’s eyes widen at that. “What, Sungjin, no! Of course, not!”

Sungjin smirks, pulling Younghyun closer and kissing him on the lips before saying, “Good because that’s the only part of the deal that I like.”

Jae, Wonpil and Dowoon may make disgusted noises and ridiculous facial expressions at them but the truth is, the scene before them is one that brings pure joy in their hearts. They are witnesses to how difficult Sungjin and Younghyun’s road towards having _this_ beautiful relationship; it had lots of ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes became perilous, so seeing how much their love for each other grew bigger and stronger through it all makes them really happy. 

Sungjin and Younghyun finally pull away from the kiss but they continue to gaze at each other. Younghyun’s eyes are twinkling under the moonlight, beautiful and bright. Sungin looks back on that choice of convenience he made a few months ago and feels a rush of gratitude filling him. He thanks the heavens, the stars or whichever force had been responsible for giving him a nudge in the right direction because if he did not accept that help, if he continued to be stubborn and held on to his pride, he would not be filled with this much happiness and contentment.

Life could throw many bad days at them, give them unimaginable horrors or stress them out of their minds, and they would valiantly face them hand in hand. To be loved by another soul so deeply gives one a unique brand of courage and strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a happy ending for our favorite couple~
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for reading up to here! I really cannot thank you enough for sticking with my first day6 fic to the very end. Aside from the feels and the giggles and the fluff, I hope that the fic has left a more profound impact in your hearts :) 
> 
> I'll leave you guys with this tumblr post which pretty much became my key inspiration for writing this fic:  
> https://acutelesbian.tumblr.com/post/132084506833/fat-thin-skinny-acutelesbian-a-lot-of-people
> 
> It just gets me sobbing every time I come across it. 
> 
> Let's be healthy and happy <3


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